Good God, Y'all: 24 Hours of LeMons

We really wanted to enter this year's 24 Hours of LeMons (aka, 24 Heuers de Citrons), held at the Altamont Raceway in Tracy, CA last weekend, but mom totally said no to our borrowing the Country Squire. No Hells Angels were on hand to murder the spectators (rock reference alert), but there were plenty of honest to goodness $500 lemons racing for their vehicular lives, or end thereof. Some racers didn't make it past the qualifying rounds, including the Old-Lady Mannequin Slalom, the Baby-Carriage Braking Test, the Brick On the Gas Pedal Challenge, but those that did competed in a grinding 24-hour endurance race. Check out these video clips (some after the jump), or read Verdegirrl's first-hand recap — she raced an Alfa Romeo Milano (of course) — at the Autoblog. Our condolences to all those beautiful pieces of crap.


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Pit: Okay, very well, Robert, now just trail brake a bit more smoothly as you enter one, perhaps blipping the throttle a little more firmly with your heel to ensure smoothness, then gently squeeze the throttle as you make a slightly later apex on two...

Driver: Hey, I done told y'all, my name is Bobby-Joe, now shut up and watch'is!! This'n's for you, Uncle Jesse!