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Giant Snowmen Hold Chrysler Products Hostage, Use Force Field

Illustration for article titled Giant Snowmen Hold Chrysler Products Hostage, Use Force Field

BREAKING: Detroit, MI: DCX tent at Motown Winter Blast under siege by 7 foot tall snowmen holding all new products by force, weapons in hand and demanding ransom. An unknown advanced technology is in use and preventing swat teams from freeing the Chrysler Aspen. One of the hostage takers has built an ammunition stash and is threatening to use it if anyone approaches the Chrysler Town and Country. Stay tuned for further developments.

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DISCUSSION

If they don't let anyone get close to it, how are they supposed to know it's not a shiny Darango.