Ford Mystic Mustang, Toyota Land Cruiser FJ40, Husqvarna Svartpilen: The Dopest Cars I Found For Sale Online

Usually, custom paint on a motorcycle is something to be suspicious of. It’s often hiding damage or cheap replacement parts, evidence of drops or crashes. In this case, however, I think any suspicion is outweighed by how goddamn cool this paint is.

The seller claims this Tiger 800 is painted not in purple, but in color-shifting blue over a burgundy base. Can you imagine how dazzling this would look in direct sunlight? Of course, for $4,750, you wouldn’t have to imagine any more — you could simply join Jalopnik’s own Kyle Hyatt in the league of former, current, or future Tiger 800 owners.

I’ve always liked the look of late-era Cadillac CTS-Vs, their narrow lights and sharp lines that make the car stand out from the sedan crowd. These older CTes... not so much. These were earlier days of the Art and Science design language, and Cadillac hadn’t yet hit the mark on Art.

Luckily, they at least got the Science of the drivetrain correct. V8, rear-wheel drive, manual transmission. This particular V has been outfitted with a claimed “20k in up grades,” from tires and wheels to suspension and a shiny new supercharger, meaning there’s even more backing up the claim to Science. From the inside, you can’t even see the headlights.

It’s Mystic time, baby. While it may not have quite the appeal of the later Mystichrome, Mystic is still in the hallowed hall of color-shifting purple shades on cars — and any shade that rubs shoulders with Midnight Purple is worth owning.

This Mystic Mustang has under 32,500 miles, which means it was likely treated as a future classic by prior owners. You, in response, should buy this and go drifting in it. The purple paint will shine against the tire smoke, and the wealth of aftermarket performance parts will help you get those rear tires spinning. Don’t lock this car away, let it live.

Do you need more than 70 cubic centimeters of raw, whining power? Can you be sated by a mere three speeds? If you can acquiesce to the size, you might find this Trail 70 to be one of the most entertaining bikes you’ll ever ride.

It’s not the most capable, the most comfortable, or the most composed, but the Trail 70 will fit places other bikes can — good luck fitting an R1250GS down the trails that this CT70 can call home. Plus, this one is shiny gold. That alone is worth the price of entry.

If the new Land Cruiser is a Greatest Hits album, the FJ40 is the self-titled album. It’s not the first release — it’s neither the J20 nor the debut EP that’s been lost to time — but it inspired everything that came after.

In that way, the FJ40 is legendary. The fact that these cars are 50 years old, and still tackling trails on the regular, is similarly worthy of commendation — they were truly built to last. Will the new Land Cruiser hold up as well? Only time will tell.

If you’re more a roadgoing Toyota person, however, we’ve got you covered too. This autocross-prepped Supra may be more your speed, with its pop-up headlights, oversized front brakes, and Enkei wheels. Sure, the engine isn’t original to the car, but were you planning on winning a Concours with it?

If not, your chariot awaits. The Supra is nearly as iconic as the Land Cruiser, but for its own reasons — a different design, a different path. Maybe you just need one of each, a world-conquering tow vehicle and an iconic race car to pull behind it.

God, why didn’t we all buy these when they were cheap? Remember when you could find reasonably clean S2000s for 12 grand, and ratty ones for nine? I remember. I remember with tears in my eyes, because I didn’t buy in when the prices were low.

Will they ever go back down? Will S2000s ever be $12,000 again, or will they only ever go up in price? Will we bemoan our missed opportunities to buy these for $30,000? I hope not, but I wouldn’t bet against it.

This is not, as you may have guessed, an R33 GT-R LM. It’s not a homologation special, it wears no absurd widebody, and i’s not locked away in a museum. This is an R33 GT-R LM Limited, which is... A GT-R V-Spec that’s blue?

More or less, yeah. This limited-run model was made to commemorate a Le Mans race effort that never really got fully off the ground. An odd thing to memorialize, maybe, but it gave us this R33 in not-quite-Calsonic-blue to feast our eyes upon. If only I had a few more hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Maybe I just need one more Miata in my life. I’ve only had two, it’s possible one more would be The One — the car I never let go of. Honestly, the first one was probably The One, but I needed to move stuff to college and a ‘93 convertible was just not going to survive Rochester winters well.

Maybe this, then, could be The One. It’s an M Edition, which means very little in terms of performance but does get you some interior niceties and a beautiful green exterior color. If you’ve got $12,000 kicking around, why not give it a shot?

Remember those old Datsun trucks, the ones that people love to throw SR20s into and take out for drift days? This is not that. This is a boxy eighties Nissan that’s not fast, not turbocharged, not even fuel injected. If it drifts, it isn’t doing so intentionally. And y’know what? It’s beautiful.

Trucks don’t have to be drifters, dun-hopping rally builds, or kitted-out overland explorers. Sometimes they can just be really convenient for your Home Depot runs, or good at lugging broken electronics home from the dump. They only get mad at you for it if they catch you; if not, the electronics are totally free.

This E3 Bavaria is sold by a website called PCarMarket. I feel the need to specify that this BMW is, kind of by definition, not a P-car. I will concede that “B-Car” could kind of look like “P-Car,” if it were maybe printed outside and the weather had gotten to the lower hoop of the B, but also no one called Bimmers “B-Cars.” It’s just not a thing.

Anyway, regardless of sale site, this is one gorgeous B-car. The color, the lines, the air dam — it all just works. All of this car’s performance upgrades, from the engine down to the sway bars, all amount to a bonus when crammed inside that gorgeous shell.

This slide is for Andy, specifically. Hey Andy. I know you’re in Florida right now and can’t read this, but you should buy this bike. I know you’ve been looking at Svartpilens, so here’s one right out on Long Island. Go buy it.

It seems to be in good shape, as one might expect with only 1,000 miles on the clock. Yet, even with that low mileage, it’s been fitted with an aftermarket exhaust — let that single cylinder sing. Go buy the bike, Andy.

If I say “manual transmission ‘80s Volvo wagon,” are you already rushing to open Venmo? These boxy, simple family haulers always set off the Must Buy Immediately alarms in my head — alarms I really, truly cannot afford to keep ringing. So, please, get your Cash App open before I do, and buy this out from under me.

Sure, it’s got some rust and an off-color door, but what old Volvo wagon doesn’t? The important thing is that these cars are just as gorgeous as the day they left the factory, and this one might run just as well to boot. The maintenance history is extensive, even if it doesn’t address the results of New York road salt.

The seller of this STi claims 700 horsepower. Without a dyno chart or full mod list, it’s difficult to verify that claim, but the first two listed mods seem to back it up — an IAG closed-deck block, and a 6466 turbo. Yeah, those will do it.

Apparently this car has been in its current state, tuned and modified, for nearly two years. In that time, it’s had less than 2,500 miles put on it, which sounds about right for every fully-built Subaru ever — someone invests the time and money, discovers that having a big number isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, and sells the car for a discount. The second owner, after mods, is the real winner.

RIP Adam, the only person I’ve ever known to have incredibly strong opinions on generations of Dodge Viper. He’s not dead, just gone for greener pastures at other websites, but we’ll miss him all the same. Of course, his absence does mean we can say whatever we want about the Viper.

This is, by my count, an eighth or ninth generation Viper. Adam would tell you it’s the second, Wikipedia would call it the third, but I think both are underestimating. There have ben at least thirty generations of Dodge Viper discovered so far by archaeologists, and this is somewhere between the eighth and tenth.