Ferrari 458 Recalled For Being Ideal Tiny Person Kidnapping Vehicle

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Listen: Sometimes you gotta kidnap people. It's just how things are. Don't question it. However, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration doesn't like that people can be trapped in trunks, and their latest target is the Ferrari 458 Italia.

NHTSA has announced a recall of about 3,100 458s and 458 Spiders, saying that the internal latch for the front trunk ("frunk", as we're fond of saying here) may not release when the vehicle is stationary. This is bad, NHTSA says, for anyone you might try to kidnap with your 458 Italia.

In the event an individual is trapped in the trunk and the latch system does not release the trunk lid, it increases the risk of personal injury or possibly death.


Here's the deal, though: I have, sadly, never driven a 458 Italia (though I'd really love to because it's my favorite current Ferrari) but I can fathom a guess that its frunk is pretty goddamn tiny. And when I look at photos of its frunk online, my suspicions are confirmed.

Basically, NHTSA — who do you really expect to get stuck in there? Very tiny people? Puppies? I highly doubt puppes are smart enough to operate the internal trunk latch anyway. So then, just very tiny people.


The Ferrari 458 Italia is the ideal tiny person kidnapping vehicle.