It's rare we use the email subject line from a PR representative for a headline, but nothing else comes close to describing it. It's got a name that sounds like a weird sex product, costs a ton of money, and is something you buy at Meineke, a car lube joint, but put on your face. It's called FaceLube — and it's real.
As far as we can tell this isn't a joke. This is a real anti-aging line of male face-cleansing products being marketed to gearheads... or whatever kind of gearheads that can be exploited to buy beauty products when they go to Meineke. The more you dig into the product the less appealing it sounds.
Let's start with the logo, which looks like a load of semen. Literally. It looks like someone shot their load on the ground, scrawled a logo into it and then had it bronzed. Also, it's German FaceLube, because American lube is somehow not up to snuff.
What's in it? "DNA-Marine/Caviar Extract" and something called "Matrixyl 3000." The cleanser costs $25, the treatment is another $105 and the protectant is $115, but for al limited time you can get all three in a FaceLube kit for $125. It's like "getting a BMW for the price of a Hyundai" says the press release.
Oh, and there's optional equipment. For a little more you can get the products in a humidor with extras like a His and Her's 'Man's Man' and 'Goddess' Mug Set, because apparently Charlie Sheen is doing their marketing.
The biggest get? It includes Harem Brand cologne. Nothing says sexy like a Harem. Just ask company founder Candace Chen, who would love to borrow your FaceLube. Sorry, Candace, FaceLube is just for men.