Environmental Screed Unintentionally Endorses Petroleum

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Eef. Reading this article simply annoyed us. Apparently, the decline of Western Civilization is upon us, and ethanol's not gonna cure the blues. Then again, we pretty much already knew that, at least not at this point. But meanwhile, Lester R. Brown is complaining that this new obsession with biofuels will kill our food supplies. But when the American government is handing out subsidies to farmers to keep them working, we wonder if the biofuel boom isn't both a boon to them and America's taxpayers. What's more, Brown comments on the impact of the biofuel spike on livestock feed.

Well, what if we stopped eating cows? Cows are consuming grain that could be used for fuel and food, and they fart volatile organic compounds into the air, adding to serious air-quality problems in places like California's Central Valley. Finally, he mentioned that the world has 76 million new mouths to feed each year. Most of said 76 million babies, sad to say, will grow up to be individuals that we in no way, shape or form will want to be involved with. They will grow up to be telemarketers. And tech-support people. And retail-management lifers. Car salesmen. Customer service representatives. Few will grow up to become good poets or exotic dancers that are actually truly sexy; generally, people, regardless of race, political stripe, religion or sexual orientation that just really get it. And it is a nebulous thing. Although a reasonable command of spelling and grammar is a plus.

So how about this? What if we stopped allowing idiots to breed? We'd save a ton of money and resources across the board. You know why Thomas More chose Utopia for the title of his seminal work? Because its very definition is "nowhere."

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