Did you know Pandas fly business class?

Illustration for article titled Did you know Pandas fly business class?

How do you transport a giant Panda from China to the United States? Why, business class on China Airlines, of course — if this picture weren't a hoax.


We didn't believe it at first — I mean, come on, it looks like a toy. And then we saw what's being proffered as an official statement from China Airlines and we knew it had to be a fake:

China Airlines is a proud corporate sponsor of the panda snactuary at Cheng Du and was happy to help out recently with the transfer of a young panda cub to a zoo in the United States of America. After extensive consultation with the Sanctury's veterinary staff it was concluded that the importance of the panda cub precluded it from traveling in the hold of the aircraft, where attending to its needs would be difficult. Thus China Airlines agreed to donate seats in its Business Traveler First cabin for the panda cub named Squee Squee and his carer, Fu Jiang Lang, seen here sitting in the window seat. In the interests of hygiene Squee Squee wore a plastic nappy to take care of pandapoop during the flight. We are happy to report that Squee Squee arrived rested and relaxed after his 14-hour flight, and is settling into his new home well. During the flight we can report that he didn't watch any of the flight movies as we couldn't find a headset big enough for him. He did order the bamboo from catering menu, with a side of bamboo, and bamboo mousse for desert.

Clearly they were having fun with it, but any press release that includes the word "pandapoop" would have made this best press release ever — and the most fake.

Snakes on a plane? Please.


Xander, Proud of BOXER

All right, time for my panda rant.

This is why I hate pandas:

So they're omnivorous, but they eat bamboo all day, which has no nutrients. So they have to spend all their time eating a shit-ton of bamboo so they can have enough energy the next day to eat a shit-ton of bamboo and digest the bamboo from the day before. To make things worse, they're endangered but they can only produce one offspring, maybe two, at a time. Nothing eats the Panda so nothing depends on the Panda to live. So if it were to go extinct, big deal. Somehow, these animals are representative of the WWF.

WHY NOT THE TIGER?! That's the question I've been asking myself for years now.