Dick Vitale Likens Mitch Albom to Serena Williams In Worst Analogy Ever

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Imagine, if you will, a world in which Detroit Free Press columnist Mitch Albom and French Open champion Serena Williams trade places (and careers) in some weird "Freaky Friday" switch-up.

In such a world, a psychic would tell Kanye West of a girl with an "ass like Albom" while Williams would be sweating it out on 600 W. Fort (that is, if she actually wants to grace the Freep office with her presence) here in Detroit, using valuable column space to promote side projects outside of his work or remind us once again that technology is changing and things like typewriters and rotary phones no longer exist.

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While we're still going with this switch-up, let's picture Albom twerking it out to Trey Songz' "Bottoms Up" and Williams faking attendances at Michigan State basketball games. This is the (increasingly?) bizarro world Dick Vitale lives in, as he let us know on Twitter recently.

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Not sure why Dick's eyes are closed here but I'm going to guess it was because he was blinded by Albom's charm, beauty and overwhelming self-satisfaction felt when he stumbles in a coffeseshop and sees someone clipping out one of his newspaper columns.

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So who is Dick's Venus Williams equivalent? Rochelle Riley?