The world weeps for the loss of those great 'chops, Daniel. Weeps. Red Bull claims it's for weight savings, but pffffft! I still see stubble. Clearly, The Man wants to keep the sweet retro mutton chops down.

Between this latest turn of events and the loss of not only Kimi's mohawk and Jordan Taylor's mullet, I have lost my faith in kooky motorsports hairdos.

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Please, someone, dye your hair purple for my own personal amusement. The age of V6 turbos and far-too-predictable Merc domination isn't quite doing it. It's time to break out the heavy hairchinery. Purple mullets.

Sebastian Vettel's goatee is gone, too, and the world is a better place as a result. The goatee should have never escaped the 199os, Seb. It's the most noncommittal of all facial hairstyles, and the equivalent of wearing "like, um" on your face.

Go full beard, wacky retro-stache, or go home and shave.

Photo credit: Getty Images