We, the uncultured, unwashed masses mocked the creative genius that is Vin Diesel, when he roundly proclaimed that Fast and Furious 7 would win the Academy Award for Best Picture. But we were clearly in the wrong. For no other than the great Helen Mirren, DBE, has said it is her “greatest ambition” to be in the next one.
For those unfamiliar with the unbelievable actress that is Helen Mirren, first of all, a pox upon your house, and second of all, she’s won so many awards that her awards have their own Wikipedia page. They include an Academy Award for Best Actress, a BAFTA, three Golden Globes, four Emmy Awards, five Screen Actors Guild awards, a Critic’s Circle Award for Distinguished Service to the Arts, an Olivier Award, a Tony Award, and, oh yeah, in case you missed it the first time, she’s a Dame. Like, an actual Dame, not just a particularly classy lady.
But none of these, NONE OF THESE, would compare to the honor that is a role in the inevitable Fast and Furious 8. Via Yahoo:
My great ambition is to be in a Fast and Furious movie. I so want to be a mad driver in a Fast and Furious movie. My claim to fame is I always do my own driving — I was on Top Gear, and I did [my lap] in a very good time. I keep putting it out there, and they never ask me. I’ll be in Fast and Furious 8.
Someone, anyone, anywhere, please ask Dame Mirren to be in the next one. Do not continue this injustice, and deny us what we all crave. And furthermore, Dame Mirren understands the real appeal of any Furious movie – Vin Flippin’ Diesel:
I have to say Vin Diesel is brilliant. I love Vin Diesel. He’s a great guy, smart — I love him. It’s partly because of him I’d like to be in one, but also the driving.
In a completely unrelated comment that I’ve just completely pulled out of context from the same interview, Mirren offered some... reasoning? Yeah, let’s go with “reasoning,” for why she’d want to appear in the next Furious opus:
Push the world forward, not the world back.
It will be the greatest film the world has ever seen since Citizen Kane.
Photo credit: Getty Images
Contact the author at ballaban@jalopnik.com.
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