"Top Gun" was a movie about heroes. OK, mostly it was a movie about Tom Cruise in sunglasses. But it felt heroic! Unfortunately on Top Gun day, evil triumphs in today's top comment, as Burt Reynolds Mustache uncovers the real reason behind New York traffic officials' new love affair with LiteBrite-like skeletons:

People of New York CIty! I stand before the Big Apple of the galaxy. Chosen by destiny by the powers of Greyskull! This inevitable moment will transpire before your eyes, even as He-Man himself bears witness to it. Now. I, Skeletor, am Master of the Empire State! YES! Yes... I feel it, the power... fills me. Yes, I feel the universe within me! I am... I am a part of the cosmos! The power flows... Flows through me! Of what consequence are you now? This planet, these people. They are NOTHING to me! The speed limit is power! Real, unstoppable POWER! and I am that force! I am that power! KNEEL BEFORE YOUR MASTER! Fool! you are no longer my EQUAL! I am more than man! MORE THAN LIFE! I... am... a... GOD! Now. You... will... KNEEEEEL! KNEEEEL!

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