It's always risky to rewrite the lyrics of a pop tune for comedic effect. For every "Amish Paradise" there's gotta be a thousand "Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire." Yet, when an Audi R8's honor is compromised, the temptation to to respond in song parody can be overwhelming.

And so, today herr Spiegel pulled down his aviator shades, saluted the sky and dipped into the canon of 1970s rock, recasting a closet classic from Paul Simon's early solo period. Try to imagine that famous Steve Gadd drum groove as you sing the following, hopefully in your cubicle with lots of people around. Loudly.

I said it's really not my habit to intrude
I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued
But I'll repeat myself at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to wreck your Audi
Fifty ways to wreck your Audi

Add a wing to the back,
Frost out the side,
Do it all Matte Black,
Return the damn thing.
Wreck it with a bus,
No need to discuss much.
Just drop off the keys,

And get a CTS-V.