Isaac Newton may have discovered the basic laws of motion and gravity and cemented his case as the greatest scientist of all time, but he was also deeply strange, believing in alchemy, forecasting the end of the world for the year 2060 and living to be 63 years old without shedding his virginity. Yet I think he would have approved of the experiments that led PotbellyJoe to wonder what Newton might have done with his own ghost-donut-making machine:

Newton's Laws of Hooning:

I. Every vehicle in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external policing force is applied to it.

II. The relationship between a vehicle's mass m, its acceleration a, and the applied force F is F = ma. The greater amounts of F=ma, the more likely a girl will state "F My A"

III. For every action there is an unequal opposite overreaction. See Australia's Anti-hooning laws.

IV. When in doubt...Donuts.


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