COTD: Recombinant Edition

Illustration for article titled COTD: Recombinant Edition

The automotive industry is well over a century old. That's plenty of time for strains of business and culture and personality to splice and split and rejoin like so much hyperactive DNA. The last few years have only jumbled things further.


It can be hard to keep track of who is involved with what or when thing got to how they are, especially when it involves the international conglomerate that is Fiat. Thankfully for those pressed for time, Cheeseslap offered to provide a quick take on the lineage of the Maserati Kubang, revealed today in Detroit:

Powered by Ferrari, built by Chrysler.
Loved by investors, laughed at by campers.
Scratched by haters, eaten by cheap automatic car washers.
Fondled by septegenarians, skanked by hookers.
Purchased by hedge funders, licked by the mentally unstable.
Spun by journos, lowered by the common denominator.
Snubbed by TOTY, paid by Viagra.
Driven by trophy wives, abducted by aliens.
Snatched by oil barons, smirked by yuppies.
Flambe'd by design, covered by Cosmo.
Abandoned by Saudis, liquidated by Cerberus.
Snowed by Fiat, puked by Jeep.

And now, I think we've come full-circle.

Then again, maybe some things are best just accepted.

Illustration Credit: dullhunk


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Congratulations, Mr. Cheeseslap on COTD today! I would like to award you with a beautiful Maserati which the lovely, starred lady will deliver to you very soon.