The Frankfurt Motor Show takes place over the span of several convention buildings, each as big as a typical American structure. This leads to extreme crankiness on the part of models, executives and reporters, especially when the halls are heated to a nice even steam. It can get a little warm on the outside to, especially when companies like Land Rover start messe-ing with their iconic models. Kavandje has warned them:

Good heavens what an utter travesty. That thumping you hear is Mr Maurice Wilks ([]) trying to get out of his grave to set this rubbish to rights.

For many years I lived in Southern Africa (and part-time still do), non-recreationally operating a number of vehicles in places where the "severe conditions" maintenance schedule applies. I cannot imagine a scenario in which the above vehicle even would even remotely appeal to me for any serious purpose. I think even for frivolous purposes I'd prefer something else. Like an H1 Hummer or something.

I harbor a certain resentment towards non-commercial "SUV" buyers who have precipitated a wholesale watering-down of the "U" part of "SUV" in order to make it "appeal" to them. You've ruined it for those of us who genuinely, non-negotiably *need* a straight-up spartan utility vehicle where severe-condition reliability and performance trumps Tonka-toy styling, cup holders and a built-in DVD player.

The last vehicle in the 1-1.5 ton capacity, 3.5 ton GVW class that still makes any sense at all is the thoroughly Warlord-grade* Toyota 70 Series Land Cruiser, and even that old stalwart is being eroded by "lifestyle" buyers, with nonsense like computer-controlled fuel injection and turbochargers.

There is no off road vehicle application that cannot be resolved with a 100% non-electronic 4-litre inline-6 petrol or diesel engine.

For my sins I shall continue to operate my 2002 HZJ79 Land Cruiser until it falls apart. Which, if I stick to the severe conditions maintenance schedule, is basically never. I think I'm going to go outside after I finish typing this, and give my truck a hug.

Get your flabby hands off my damn truck, California surfer dude. Buy a DC100.

* So warlord-grade in fact that civilians aren't allowed to own them in Chad.