COTD: Consumer retorts edition

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There's nothing worse for an educated consumer than to hear a company blame the end-user for a product malfunction. Yet, Ford's kind of done that with its Mustang transmission issues. How might such a scenario play out? Let's look and see.

Mkolabin01 delivers a bit of dialogue between a product manufacturer and a consumer with a complaint. Will the manufacturer do the right thing and give the user the satisfaction he deserves, or will it find a rhetorical hitch that'll free it from ever dealing with the issue. Let's see now:

Consumer: It broke!

Manufacturer: We will look in to your case of "It broke!"

Manufacturer: We have looked in to your case of "It broke!" and determined you broke it.

Consumer: It shouldn't have broken. I was just using it!

Manufacturer: We assume zero liability, there is no warranty coverage.

Consumer: I'm telling the Authority on you.

Authority: We understand you have filed a complaint of "It broke!" with the product manufacturer. We understand that the manufacturer claims no responsibility. We are looking in to the issue.

Authority: We have examined your case and found in favor of the product manufacturer.

Consumer: That's it. I'm telling the interwebs!

Interwebs: Ha Ha! Dumb ass! Where's the hoon video? Have you seen the picture of my cat, with a meme on? You should have bought a (different product) stupid. It's your own fault.

Consumer: I give up.

Headline: Mustang Owner Drives Car Off Bridge.

Manufacturer: What...

Authority: The...

Interwebs: Fuck...

Consumer: Blurble Gurgle Drown.

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