Commenter Of The Day: Weekend Update Edition

Illustration for article titled Commenter Of The Day: Weekend Update Edition

In our opinion, Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update" was never better than in the early 1990's. In particular, there were three comedians that we were particularly fond of when they appeared late on saturday nights. The first was A. Whitney Brown, who almost no one has heard of in the last 10 years. He had a bit called "The Big Picture" and he made jokes like "Bombs are now smarter than the average high school student, at least they can find Kuwait." The second is Chris Rock, who made a name for himself on Weekend Update with quips like "I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot..." Finally, there's David Spade.


To his credit, since we've had lots of fun at his expense in the David Spade + Challenger "Caption This," Spade was hilarious when he was doing "The Hollywood Minute." We particularly liked when he held up a picture of Eddie Murphy and said "Look kids, a falling star... make a wish." Those were the days. Now Chris Rock has an incredibly successful franchise spanning mediums, David Spade is on a TV show that hasn't been canceled and A. Whitney Brown is, well, he's not in rehab as far as we know. So things could be worse. But he was a celeb seat-filler at an automaker's event and we have to take a whack at him. And as often happens, Ash was the first in and manages to drop a classic right from the beginning.

Hey...David grandmother called, she wants her seating position back.

Sure, it's a low-hanging fruit. But it's a delicious low-hanging fruit.

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Rob Emslie

@POLAЯ IS ЯETIЯING: Damn, Jalopnik won't be the same without a daily POLAЯIZATION.

Might I suggest quitting your job, and getting the kids to help out with the posting frequency?

No? Fine, have it your way. I guess we all know who POLAЯ looks out for- that's right: POLAЯ.

Look man, don't go, we can change. It can be the way it used to, back when everything was fresh and new. It doesn't have to be like this. Seriously, I'll quit smoking and lose some weight.

There's someone else isn't there? Don't lie to me, I can smell her on you breath. You've been hanging out with that skanky Autoblog haven't you? Well, I should have known. The way you never write us songs any more. And where's the love gone in your postings? Well, you go to your Autoblog whore. See how long that lasts. YOU'RE NOT THE FIRST, I can tell you that! She's had more action than Mitsubishi twin stick. You'll go there looking for a COTD, and you'll end up with an STD! Ha!

Anyway man, we're gonna' miss you. We'll keep your room just the way you left it if you ever want to move back. Really, it's not too far if you want to just stay here and commute.

Now I'm sad.