Amos is one of the oldest recorded prophets in the Old Testament and, in the end, one of the most depressing. He does his thing just when Israel is starting to hit its stride. They're exporting wine and oil, making money hand-over-first, and otherwise prospering. Of course, in this prospering they neglect their service and attention to God and Amos gets encouraged to tell everyone this. He's basically the guy at the party reminding every drunk person how hungover they're going to be the next day. He was wildly unpopular though, ultimately, right. We're not sure what transgressions the crispy drifting Genesis made, but we have Tempesjo to explain the Old Testament consequences.

1:21 And Hyundai created great dinosaurs: and Hyundai saw that it was good. 1:22 And Hyundai blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, multiply, die and decay, and create an unlimited reserves of gasoline. 1:24 And Hyundai said, Let the earth bring forth the Excel, the Sonata, the Accent, and slow, unsafe and unreliable appliances of their kind: and it was so. 1:25 And Hyundai made these appliances: and Hyundai realized that it was not good. 1:26 And Hyundai said, Let us make the Genesis in my image: and let it have dominion over the Camaro, the Mustang, the Challenger and the 370Z. 1:27 So Hyundai created the Genesis in his own image; V6 and Turbo 4. 1:28 And Hyundai blessed them, and Hyundai said unto them, Be fast and nimble, hoon the earth: and have dominion over Camaro, the Mustang, the Challenger and the 370Z, and over every other vehicle in your class that moveth upon the earth.

2:8 And Hyundai created unending expanses of pavement; and there he put the Genesis whom he had formed. 2:18 Hyundai said, "It is not good for the Genesis to be alone. I will make a companion for it who corresponds to it." 2:21 So Hyundai caused the Genesis to fall into a deep sleep, and while it was asleep, he took part of the Genesis' exhaust manifold and closed up the place. 2:22 Then Hyundai made a man from the part he had taken out of the Genesis, and he brought him to the Genesis.

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Sacrilicious.

Image Credit: Gustave Dore