Commenter Of The Day: Porky's Edition

Illustration for article titled Commenter Of The Day: Porkys Edition

It seemed like one of those days in Chicago where it threatened rain all day but not a drop actually hit the pavement. Alone for the weekend I thought I'd head to the local bar, grab a beer and watch the game. Just in case the game got rained out I brought a book along. A short block away from the bar the first wet gust of wind hit me and nearly made off with my umbrella. Soaked, disheveled and a little peeved I grabbed a seat at the bar. The game was quickly postponed for rain so I got out my book, Leon Jaworski's The Right And The Power, and started reading. I'm not sure what about looking like crap and reading a book about Nixon appeals to women... but I couldn't keep women from hitting on me. One after another. Sometimes in groups. Attractive women. Being in a committed relationship I rebuffed their advances, cursing myself for not thinking of this strategy earlier. As with the story above, OrangeRazor in today's QOTD decided that inattentiveness is the key to the bad driving and also demonstrated that most guys will use any excuse to tell a story of romantic conquest.

Once upon a time I was a 17 year old High School senior, commuting back and forth in my 1989 Nissan 240sx. I loved that car; lightweight, rear wheel drive and the two-tone Silver and Grey painjob was smokin. But if there was one thing I loved more than my car, it was Fabienne. Fabi, as all her friends called her, was a German foreign exchange student and perhaps the most beautiful person I've ever met. Long Chestnut brown hair, dark eyes and a smile that would melt the coldest of hearts...not to metnion a body that would inflame even the most asexual of persons. I lived close enough to her host family that taking her too and from school was convenient for the both of us. Fabi was also a cheerleader. One day while in the massive exodus that is the highway outside of my school immediately after last bell, Fabi is in my passenger seat showing me the new uniform that she got to replace the old, ill-fitting one. There's a basketball game that night, and Fabi wants to try on the new uniform. So she proceeds to change clothes. Right there. In my car. In rush hour traffic. All of a sudden, I became the WORST DRIVER in the ENTIRE WORLD. And that my friends, is how my 240sx developed a THREE-tone paint job...


Ze Germans never disappoint. [Photo: Getty Images]

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Rob Emslie

Awesome. German cheerleader, Effing briliant.