Comment Of The Day: 'Military Grade' Doesn't Mean You Want It

Illustration for article titled Comment Of The Day: 'Military Grade' Doesn't Mean You Want It
Screenshot: Z-Ration (Amazon)

Those of us whose experience in the armed forces is limited to pwning noobs in Call Of Duty hear “military-grade” and assume whatever comes next will be elite and tough. People in marketing seem to think the same way. Folks who have actually served... not so much.

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I don’t know if superstar commenter HamerheadFistpunch was actually in the military or not, but their assessment of the phrase “military-grade” as “eyeroll city” seemed pretty accurate.

As much as Americans love to think of soldiers as high-tech superheroes, in reality, the military’s methodology in acquiring equipment usually has more to do with “how can we get a lot of this very cheaply” rather than “how can we make this the toughest version of whatever.”

Military-grade pizza is, uh, just one fine example.

Anyway, “military-grade” as an advertising point needs to die next to “sporty dynamism” and “emotional” as vague nonsense. Thank you to those who suit up and serve the country anyway.

Jalopnik Staffer from 2013 to 2020, now Editor-In-Chief at Car Bibles

DISCUSSION

mjensenwv
move-over-peasant-I-have-an-M5-in-the-shop

As a currently serving military person, I can attest that that pizza is close to mil-spec for the active individual with a dynamic military lifestyle.