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Clarkson Still Thinks America Sucks, We Still Love Him

Illustration for article titled Clarkson Still Thinks America Sucks, We Still Love Him

You ship your typical automotive journalist to Southern California and hand him the keys to a blown Callaway Corvette packing 616 horsepower, you figure you're going to get a review that could be summarized in one word: "AIIIIIEEEE!" You send Jeremy Clarkson, however, and you get a review that starts off with ten paragraphs loaded with jabs like "They can get our immediate help in the Gulf, but we had to beg for assistance against the Nazis and the Argies. With America, the world is a one-way street" before you even hear about the car (which, though Clarkson describes it as "nailed together by apes," he does allow that he "absolutely bloody loved it.") Now, as the author of a novel targeted at the tepid BDSM proclivities of the Brits, I have the ammunition to come back with some bashing of Mr. Clarkson's benighted, caned-by-stern-headmistress, forever-tainted-by-British-Leyland island... but we take the high road here at El Jalop! [Times of London]

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DISCUSSION

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Rob Emslie

I completely understand the British inferiority complex for which Clarkson appears to have nominated himself spokesperson.

It's like going in together with your brother on a the purchase of a really cool car - say a Lotus Exige, and then your brother goes and shuts you out. Tells you he's not going to share. Now, he's driving around town, looking like Mr. Cool, AND he's getting laid by Danica Patrick. Meanwhile, you're stuck at home with a cold, soggy plate full of Toad in a hole and some warm, flat guinness.

Now, wouldn't you feel like you got screwed? (and not like he is with Danica) That's how I imagine Clarkson feels every time he comes here and sees (relatively) cheap gas, big, 5-lane highways, big, fake American lady-boobs, and food that doesn't look like it's already been digested by the local beasties.

Now, I for one, try to see the strengths of each country and similarities that bind us together, rather than the differences and the negative factors that cause friction.

But if Clarkson didn't wave the national flag for England, he wouldn't be doing his job. I mean, isn't that what's so interesting about him- that he's a pompous ass?