Chevrolet Cruze SS: It's The Shitbox Sport!

Illustration for article titled Chevrolet Cruze SS: Its The Shitbox Sport!

Chevrolet Singapore is offering a stripe-and-dam body kit for the Chevrolet Cruze. The package, dubbed Cruze SS, includes illuminated sill plates and costs the equivalent of $3500. So, wait — now people are paying for corporal punishment?

What's wrong with this picture? Last fall, General Motors global engineering veep Mark Reuss said that the SS badge was set for a "return to its roots," and that it would no longer be just a range-topping add-on. The Cruze SS may be little more than a regional tart-up aimed at bolstering sales, but that's no excuse. Faux performance is faux performance, no matter where it's sold. (Also, what the hell is wrong with tasteful? If a Chevy-licensed German tuner — German! — can do this, why can't the Chinese?)

Several people have pointed out that the Cruze SS bears a passing resemblance to the Bumblebee/Camaro character from Transformers. Since that movie made us dry-heave into our Optimus Prime Unicron Orson Welles commemorative hoodie, we remain indifferent. Ok, not indifferent. More like kind of icky.

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[PaulTan.org via The Car Connection]

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DISCUSSION

Who's to say that this isn't what the Chinese want? In my experience there's a tendency towards ostentatious designs and they're not as obsessed about performance.

I'm fairy sure people shopping for a car like the Cruze are looking for something to get them around. If it looks fun that's a plus. It doesn't help that bigger engines are taxed more heavily.

I think the obsession with horsepower is a distinctly American trait. Everyone likes a fast car, but Americans seem to expect that every last vehicle should come with high-horsepower engines. This despite the fact that most people don't have the skill to deal with that power and more importantly will never even tap into it.

Of course, GM didn't have to use the SS designation, so I can't really argue with that point.