Well, not "as good" in every sense, or even more than one sense, of the term — but certainly just as quick in a 1/4 mile straight-line race. That's what the boys at Car & Driver found after spending the day at Milan Dragway pitting some of the strangest combinations of straight-line non-performance we've ever seen to see if Mom and Dad's daily driver can put the kibosh on performance oriented cars. Most importantly, they finally answer the question of who wins in a drag race between a Mini Cooper S and a Cadillac Escalade? The answer? The Cooper S in 0-to-60 time, the Escalade in 1/4-mile time and, oh yes, the ability to swallow the Cooper S whole. Check out all the combos via the link below. [Car & Driver]