Caddy Hearse sends tires to the grave with killer burnout

Diverse cultures tend to thrive, and few match the glorious randomness of car culture (Itasha and Dekotora to name just two). Last weekend's Graveyards Car Show in Schaghticoke, NY, showcased car nuts who love hearses, including Spanky Payne and his 1991 Caddy death-wagon. Viva autopluralism!


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I once had a chance to buy a Chevy hearse without a motor for $400. I passed because I had no way to get it home. The next week I was offered a small-block Chevy V8 that had just been rebuilt. I refused because I had no car to put it in.

My ass still hurts from me kicking myself so many times. I just keep thinking of how awesome it would have been to make this giant, full-interior, massively suped up 500+ horsepower blank-on-black hearse that could leave clouds of tire smoke everywhere just to annoy the living. I dreamed of one day giving it to my kids so that they could do burnouts and donuts while transporting me to my gravesite so I could go out in true Jalop style.

Then I remembered I want to be cremated and stopped kicking myself. Now all I need is a cupholder to get me to Hell in style.