BMW Owner Wants Car Repo'd So He Can Buy An M3

Illustration for article titled BMW Owner Wants Car Repo'd So He Can Buy An M3

Demonstrating the kind of financial savvy that keeps "gold investment" firms in business, a poster at Bimmer Forums wants his 5-series repossessed so he can buy the M3 he wants. It's brilliant/awful and doesn't even appear to be a troll!


The first post from biigzbeemer:

Whats up fellas im in the process of getting one soon... I had a 2005 imola red m3 but it was hooked up from the previous owner, it had 19' velano rims coated in red it was krazy but it had one bad tire.. it kept getting flat.. the dealership put air in it in before the they moved it out of the showroom then I took it for a test drive.. it was too good but there was something wrong with the left front tire.. and it turns out after i bought it the front tire had lost thread in the inner part.. so that tire was bad so i took it back to them and they said that they would only replace that wheel but not the other wheels they wouldnt.. so then my brother was with me at the time when we got it being that we werent the only ones interested in it... there was two other doods wanting the same vehicle on the same day.. lucky i had called earlier in the day to schedule it so it worked out good... aurite so we were at the dealer and he said that he would only change the front tire then we said aurite but then my brother asked if it had powertrain warranty and the guy said no.. so i was goin nuts i was like well what if the trans goes and i have to spend 4k on that.. naa so i jumped in a 525i and been in it ever since like a year and a half.. now since im about 15k rolled over from the m3 i owe the bank a ishload of money.. it was a rookie mistake but alot of stuff happend during my life that lead me to make my choice about getting an m3 again and paying 400 dollars less a month due to my rollover and taking a repo.. I prefer to make that choice even tho my 5 series is lookin aight but i love an m3 so its all good.. I would let the bank take my car if i can build up my credit again.. but yea thats my story, apologies if it was a long story

Then user GeorgeM3SMG replied:

1. Welcome.
2. Stop making posts from your mobile phone.
3. If it wasn't your mobile phone, learn to use the keys marked "Shift" and "Enter".
4. Read this: Take it to heart.
5. Get Firefox and correct the stuff that gets red underlined when you type or, alternatively, learn to spell (which would couple nicely with #4).

You'd have thought by now that Biigzbeemer would have comprehended the hint. Or maybe not.

Yeah i know i typed kind of confusing last night but i was up in the sky if you know wut i mean. I cant even get this car since i would have to Repo this and suffer any consequences such as a lawsuit from bmw financial as i am currently under them at the moment. My brother said that if i dont make the payments they will repo it and pick it up but he says they wont come after the difference because it was their choice to lend me the money in full in the first place but i did sign the friggin binding contract and those rules they have.. problem is they will want the difference. My question to you is do you think it is worth it to repo the car but have another loan on ur credit before you choose to repo it and build up ur credit after they take your car away?


What's scarier? That they gave this guy a loan or they gave this guy a license?

[Bimmerforums via TrueDelta]



The dude is the master troll.

Note that he's subtle, and yet eminently sophisticated in his presentation.

His grammar is not reproachable, merely a little lacking. His spelling is not abhorrent, but rather roughly average for contemporary internet users. His punctuation is good, though not perfect. His lack of organization is noticeable, but far from the bottom of the internet barrel.

Finally, his tone is absolutely bulletproof. It's obvious that the subject matter here is by nature absurd. And yet, his tone never wavers, not even for a single moment. He is completely foolproof in his presentation.

His only subtle hint that he is trolling comes in the beginning of the second post, in which he indicates he was "up in the sky, if you know what I mean." An obvious cue, but in context, actually mostly believable.

But no...there's almost enough there to make us suspend disbelief and think that this guy might actually be serious. Almost. But almost only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and the girl next door; and this guy knows it. He knew exactly where to draw the line, and did it masterfully.

Ladies and gentlemen, what we are seeing here is pure essence of greatness. This is the best internet troll I have ever seen.

I salute you, Mr. biigzbeemer. Joseph Heller would be proud. #bmw