Well, you know. Serious Clive Owen factor involved. Read more

Why are you compounding the problem? Read more

ZACHISGOD, come here. Come here, I gotta go all Sgt. Apone on you. Because why? Why you gotta go and do that? They'll be scraping up shiny shirts, oversize watches and blood from that road for weeks now. Which is fine in principle, but that was MY road. Loose lips, man! Read more

You Cubs fans, I tell ya. Read more

Re: The poop-box: Wind-propelled ships. Ship's not going as fast as the wind. Wind blows the stink ahead of the ship. It's the best place for the poop box by a thin margin. When becalmed, though, they're floating in Admiral Brown. Read more

Nah, I don't care anymore. Read more

Think balder and even-after-Peter-Gabriel-left-er. Read more

As a Packer fan and a decent human being, I really wanted Simmons to hate us more. Read more

Yeah, this. The poor noble bastards who have no choice but to operate the damn thing? They defend our freedom in spite of the Humvee. Read more

True. I can neither argue nor condemn. Nor do I want to discuss my own musical tastes from the mid-80s... Read more

The Vega and the Pinto. Read more

Work at USA Today? Read more

Promoting, because there's always one. And God bless 'em. Read more

Well, hello! Hope you're well. Read more

There will also be corn. Read more

Road America. Read more

...Do I know you? And yes, you're absolutely right. Read more

It isn't half as complicated as football. Read more

Yah, that Alfa was beautiful, wasn't it? Sigh. Read more

"In the meantime, people who are really worried about the Mayan calendar coming true should buy a Silverado right away." Read more