I can barely stomach the thought of coming across a snake in the woods. Discovering one—a python, nonetheless—sitting on my car battery? No, thank you. Fuck off with that.
And yet, here I am, blogging about exactly that kind of situation, because an Australian family this week went to check on what they thought was a dead battery, and instead found A PYTHON. Guhhhhhhh.
9News in Australia caught up with the frightened family to get the scoop. The family called the NRMA—the equivalent to the AAA here, notes The Drive—and asked for some assistance because their car wouldn’t turn over.
I’ll let 9News take it from here:
Patrolman Steve Hedger, 52, answered the call for help just after 10am and discovered the 1.4 metre diamond python when he lifted the bonnet.
“I turned up to what I thought was an NRMA call, put my hand in underneath the bonnet, lifted it up and there it was right in front of my face,” he told 9news.com.au.
“But because it looked how it did, I didn’t jump, it looked placid.
“I still wasn’t going to touch it.”
Uh, yeah—neither would I! I don’t care if the python had a $100 bill in its mouth and slowly reared its head upward like he wanted to give me it. Snakes are a nonstarter for me.
It’s unclear how the python got in there, or if it somehow caused the damage to the battery. 9News reports that a snake handler was called to free the slithery thing, and it was “released at a suitable location.”
I’m glad no one present was hurt. Me, I’m emotionally scarred now.