The ad for today’s Nice Price or No Dice 928 has lots of pictures of the car’s Rubenesque rear end which is its best angle. It’s what’s up front that’s most intriguing, though, and it’ll be up to us to determine what a Chevy mill might do to a Porsche’s price.
Do you ever wistfully wonder what ever became of the cast of The Jersey Shore? That was MTV’s ode to the odious. An orgiastic salutation to spray tans and frosted tips that aired on the cable channel just a decade ago. If you haven’t dedicated any brain cells to any such rumination — and why would you? — then you’re not alone.
Still, I bring up the long-departed MTV icon because yesterday’s 1985 Cadillac Eldorado certainly looked like something that might have spirited Snooki to the club and it just so happens to be up for grabs in Toms River, New Jersey, which is right on the shore. Well one of them, anyway. Few of us aspire to live the Jersey Shore lifestyle, and even fewer still were willing to go to the length of paying the custom Caddy’s $26,000 asking price. That ended up in a monumental 93 percent No Dice loss, along with pleas in the comments for eye bleach and morning libations to make it all go away.
Hey, I want you to do me a favor and go look at your butt in the mirror. I’ll wait. Ok, how’d it look? Do you consider it something that might get Sir Mix-a-Lot all hot and bothered? If so then congratulations. Strong work! I’ll bet, however, that it can’t hold a candle to the butt of today’s 1985 Porsche 928. I mean, after all, the 928 has the best butt in the biz. Name me a better automotive badonkadonk and I’ll eat my words.
As pleasingly Rubenesque as the 928 may look when pulling away from a light, there is a fly in its ointment, a monkey in its wrench. That’s the complicated and expensive to maintain all-alloy over-head cam V8 lurking behind its pointy prow. For a period of time, values on the 928 had dropped precipitously, to the point where they became within reach of people who could afford to buy them, but couldn’t afford to have them properly serviced. That sometimes led to snapped timing belt teeth, bent valves, and ultimately me coming across the car’s carcass in the junkyard. Sad, I know.
It’s impossible to tell what befell this 928 to send it down its present path, but suffice to say, it now looks pretty bad-ass in its primer paint and the small block Chevy V8 that calls the engine bay home solves pretty much all of the maintenance cost issues.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s not the same as the lovely-sounding and rev-loving small V8 that originally came with the car. It’s something altogether different; a hot rod 928.
The ad says the car came from a “PRIVATE COLLECTION” which I guess is different from… oh, I don’t know, the public domain? The ad also says it to be rust-free beneath that chalkboard primer. Based on the under-hood shots it looks like the original color was black. The 350 living and breathing (more on that in a minute) in the bay is carbureted but looks to wear the later-style heads. The Porsche’s power steering has been adapted to work with the Chevy but the car’s A/C has seemingly been given its walking papers. Part of the exhaust has also been left to the history books since it now exits under the doors instead of from under the beautiful booty.
The SBC install looks reasonably tidy and complete, but the engine may actually need to come out. According to the seller, it suffers from excess crankcase pressure and the blow-by will need to be addressed. As such, the car is being sold as-is.
That as-is includes an interior that looks clean and livable, but again not the factory original. The seats are seemingly out of something else, not totally unexpected since Porsche leather tends to age like a Detroit truck route. The dash is wavy enough to make those with weak constitutions seasick and there looks to be some missing trim on the door jams. Other than those issues, it doesn’t look too bad.
The 928 is, of course, a torque tube and transaxle car, and the transaxle in the back of this one is the Mercedes-sourced three-speed automatic. That may make for some rabble amongst the commentariat, but it’s probably a good fit for the SBC’s low-end torque.
With a reported 38,800 miles on the odometer and all the changes afoot, you know there’s got to be some story here. The car is being offered with a clean title in Los Angeles, but it’s hard to say whether or not it could pass California’s strict emissions test with the engine it has. I see no mention in the ad of a BAR (Bureau of Automotive Repair) sticker which is the get-out-of-jail-free card for such switches in here the Golden State.
That’s a lot to unpack, but with Porsche prices skyrocketing these days, the time to get into a 928 may be now. This one gives you that lovely rear view along with an engine that won’t break the bank (hopefully) to maintain. With an asking of $12,950, does that seem like a fair deal?
What’s your take on this outlaw 928 and that $12,950 price? Does that seem fair to sort out its issue and then drive it like you stole it? Or, is this just one big-ass bad idea?
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