As a personal coupe, today’s Nice Price or No Dice Eldorado was considered by Cadillac to be pretty expressive right out the door. As we can all see, that’s now been turned up to eleven. What might one pay for all that personal expression?
Being versatile is a plus, and with looks that would impress both the country club set and 12-year olds who organize their Hot Wheels in order of visual bad-assitry, the Lorinser-bodied 2005 Mercedes-Benz S500 we looked at yesterday is certainly one versatile ride. At $12,950, most of you felt it was also a good deal, the 65 percent Nice Price win indicating that such versatility didn’t have to come with a constraining price.
One look at today’s 1985 Cadillac Eldorado and you’ll know that restraint was not in the cards during the process of its customization. There’s so much going on here that it’s hard to know exactly where to begin. I guess the best place would be at the beginning.
When this Eldo was originally built, it represented a new, somewhat constrained version for the evergreen nameplate. A full foot shorter in wheelbase and two feet less in overall length than its immediate predecessor, this generation of Caddy’s personal coupe wouldn’t give you heart palpitations when attempting to slot-park or navigate narrow roads. On the downside, being based on the Oldsmobile Toronado body style, it wasn’t really designed to set the heart aflutter in any way.
This customized edition rectifies those classic but somewhat dull-as-dishwater looks with some outlandish additions and a paint scheme that could easily be described as “dy-no-mite!”
Complimenting (?) that color scheme is a collection of add-ons like a heavily-chromed grille surround festooned with gold eagles. Superfly headlight covers bracket that grille, while a hood-mounted trumpet horn and, out in the back, not one but two fake spare mounts add to the party. This is all accompanied by some fake bullet holes in the boot lid, extended spinner wheel covers, and a boomerang TV antenna on the landau roof. There’s even more going on here, but with the devil living in the details, it’s probably best not to look too closely lest you be sucked in by its entrancing spell.
The interior is what you might imagine we’d all be driving had the Cincinnati Bengals won last Sunday’s big game. There’s a ton of faux leopards in here, along with a full-sized Tiger head that seemingly has escaped from the neighborhood furry party. Again, there’s a little too much to take in here, but special appreciation should be given to the necker’s knob made from a revolver cylinder and the Jesus living on the dashboard having a hula-dancer for a friend. The car also apparently comes with a pimp stick and hat in case anyone needs additional hints as to the inspiration for its style.
This isn’t all just looks either. The Eldo only sports a mere 91,300 miles and, according to the seller, has recently undergone a full $2,300 in maintenance and repairs. The description says the car “Starts right up” and describes it thusly: “Great cruiser. Shop car. Superfly!!!”
Seeing as it’s presently advertised on Facebook Marketplace — the sketchy neighborhood lemonade stand of online classifieds — we don’t get pertinent info like title status but how could a car as extroverted as this have anything other than a clean title?
With that in mind, and the car’s outlandish looks seared into your brain, let’s now contemplate the $26,000 asking price. That’s a lot of cash, but you’re probably going to be guaranteed a good time for the money. And keep in mind that no one should ever make light of the issues of sex trafficking and non-consensual sex work, so maybe the literal pimp costume elements of this ride should get kicked to the curb as part of the deal?
That still leaves a car that will alternatively astound and piss off the neighbors and make the arrival at every elementary school parent profession day a white-knuckler for the teaching staff.
What’s your thought on this audacious Eldorado and that $26,000 asking? Does that seem a fair cost for so crazy a car? Or, is that a price that would make even Joe Exotic blanch?
H/T to nightowle for the hookup!
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