And The REAL LeMons Winner Is... UDMan's Team Trailing Throttle Oversteer Corvair!

Illustration for article titled And The REAL LeMons Winner Is... UDMans Team Trailing Throttle Oversteer Corvair!

It was getting close towards the end, with the Adopted From Jets Saab 99 breathing right down their necks, but the Team Trailing Throttle Oversteer Corvair came in 23rd place versus the Saab's 24th-place finish!

Illustration for article titled And The REAL LeMons Winner Is... UDMans Team Trailing Throttle Oversteer Corvair!

By all accounts, it was the most exciting Index Of Effluency battle in LeMons history. The Corvair proved so reliable that Toyota teams were feeling envious- yeah, we sure as hell didn't expect that from the oldest car ever to run in LeMons- but its lap times were on the slow side and its funky handling characteristics resulted in frequent visits to the Penalty Box. In the end, however, the much faster Saab just couldn't stay in one piece for long, and the trophy that LeMons insiders consider to be the most prestigious goes to the team captained by our own UDMan. Well done, Team Trailing Throttle Oversteer, and may this serve as an inspiration for future LeMons teams trying to decide on the right car!
Image source: Ron Vickers, SmokeyBurnout

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It was a rather exhausting weekend, and right now, I'm sunburnt, and really really tired. But I wanted to fill you all in with a few details.

1 - I did have one other Jalop, Mary with an M, and she served as our runner, and cheerleader.

2 - The cars handling was truly awful. The rear end always wanted to come around, and ALL the drivers on my team were doing corrections on the wheel through the corners. We tried all kinds of tire pressure, to absolutely no difference.

3 - Knock me dead, but the engine was dead reliable, without missing a beat. We threw 1 fan belt, and that was late in the race, and cam in smoking. Johnny (my mechanic) put a new fan belt on, sprayed a little ether in the right carb, turned the key, and the car fired off. We were back on the track in 15 minutes.

4 - I was on the track when the right front drum cracked, and locked up the right front wheel, and I skidded right in front of the grandstands, going off into the infield. We were on good terms with the track crew, and I served a penalty (in a green dress, fake boobs, and had to get lunch for the fire brigade) but they let the rest of the team take the car, replace the drum and shoes, and we were back out in 1/2 hour.

5 - There was next to no power from the engine. It was suppose to be 84 HP, but no one on the team ever got about 68 on the fastest part of the track, though we did keep up with most of the traffic in the infield part of the course.

In conclusion, no mechanical breakdowns of any consequence; very slow and scary handling; all drum brake system that still stopped the car when needed; and we recorded almost 29 MPG while competing on the track.......