Ah, prom. You and several other sweaty, nervous teens pile into a nice car or limousine for a night of awkwardness, stepping on your dance partner’s feet, and/or hoping your bra isn’t peeking out. You know what would make it all so much more worthwhile? Getting to watch the limousine get wrecked afterwards.
I have a soft spot for big V8-powered coach-built, brougham-based machines, but there’s something hilariously satisfying about seeing a demolition derby just for limousines. This clip is from Holland Speedway’s Crash-A-Rama in 2013, but I’m sure it’s not the only one. Where there are rednecks, there will be rednecks looking to smash things.
Limousines are great, hulking symbols of gaudy, brougham-style excess—the kind that offers a veneer of class on what would otherwise be a basic Chevy or Ford product—but they are forever clear products of the era in which they were built.
Soon, the video screens and neon minibars become dated and out of place, and you’re left with a relic that needs replacing with a new limo built with the latest and greatest technology. Old limousines are cheap—enough so that I saw one being used as a tow vehicle for a Porsche 944 team in California.
These crusty old disused limousines deserve a second chance at bringing merriment and joy to the masses. Unless you’re grabbing one as the ultimate racing weekend tow vehicle/party wagon or cross-country rally beater, why not demolition derby it?
Personally, I can’t wait to see those big goofy Hummer limos get smashed. Soon it will be time for the limos of my era to meet their glorious demise, and I shall chuckle heartily when I see one show its structural weaknesses in battle.