Illustration for article titled 2012 Toyota Yaris unveiled at irrelevant music festival

It's the car nobody cares about unveiled at a music festival not relevant since 1995. Yeah, I went to Lollapalooza. Once. Back in 1995. Me and my main man Dirty Bogus MC the Third went to see Pavement because they had them opening for Sinead O'Conner. Bald chicks throwing mud bombs at Spiral Stairs. What was Perry Farrell smoking? I should remember, he passed me some at a Jesus Lizard concert.

Pavement destroyed Lollapalooza that day. I'd hoped for good. Mostly, I've just been watching hobos play tin cans in the alley behind the Hideout since. Real music. I did go to Pitchfork this year to see The John Spencer Blues Explosion. Some kid in a "Panda Bear" t-shirt sitting next to me called them the "John Spencer Shitty Nostalgia Experience." Punks.

Hyundai used Pitchfork to show off the new Accent 5-door hatch, which seemed like the worst thing ever until I heard Toyota showed off the 2012 Yaris at Lollapalooza over the weekend.

I'm sure all the Coldplay fans love it. Sell outs.

I drive a gray market 1983 Seat Ibiza, because that was the last car that was real.

Photo Credit: Joe Bruzek/

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