Here's New Slightly Offensive License Plate Mottos For Every State

I’ll be honest here — I can’t exactly recall what made me want to come up with new license plate slogans for every state and then Photoshop them all onto license plates, but after cranking out 50 of these things, it’s possible I might regret it, a little bit. But, I hope you won’t! All I ever wanted was to make you happy, and if that means using a sophisticated AI to figure out new, better mottos for every state’s license plate, then so be it.

Using the Jalopnik Mainframe (a TRS-80 Color Computer connected via an RS-232 interface to an experimental DARPA “Data Ham”) I fed the Artificial Intelligence algorithm running on the overclocked 6809 CPU of that machine as much media and data about each state as possible, and from that, I got a series of characters, which I was able to arrange into the mottos you see below.

I think you’ll agree that in many cases the new mottos are vastly better than the current state license plate motto, or, also, are colossal, perhaps even tragic failures. Lots of these are mildly offensive, too, so before you hunt down your home state, full of pride, be warned.

Anyway, here we go! New mottos for all 50 states! And, yes, I forgot to do DC!