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Royalty is overrated, I tell you. First we have a royal family whose only job seems to be getting married and now we have another that can’t even hold onto its fucking plane. The world is going to the dogs and it’s starting with the nobility.

I’m talking about the royal family of Qatar, by the way—a family that I once held in very high regard. Well, not anymore! I heard that they’re putting one of their two 747-8i Boeing business jets up for sale for reasons unknown, reports The Drive. Franky, I don’t give a shit about the reason, I’m furious over the fact that the damn thing is for sale in the first place.

Let me tell you something: You never give up the plane. Never give it up—and never put it up for sale. Yes, the plane is for sale on and apparently there are financing options. I’m breaking out in hives as I write this. Guys, what the actual fuck.

It’s the perfect plane, too. Originally designed to carry over 400 passengers, the jet has been updated to carry just 76 passengers and 18 crew. Or, if you’re me, one passenger and 18 crew. Is this a complete waste of fuel? Do I look like I care?


As you can see above, it has an opulent conference room.

A glorious private bedroom.


A wonderful bathroom.

A medical center for people partying too hard.


This horse statue.

A cream-colored lounge.


More cream-colored compartments.


Another (blue) lounge for when you get tired of all the cream.

What if it falls into the hands of the poor? What if, like, Delta or whatever the hell it’s called, strips its wonderful interior and fits it with the usual cattle-car furnishings of a commercial jet? I’d rather see the jet lying on the floor of the sea before that happens.

Fine, I’ll buy it. Perth Now estimates it to cost $400 million. It’s a small price to pay to keep the exclusive exclusive. I can’t believe this is suddenly my job.