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The New Cars 3 Trailer Raises Even More Unsettling Questions About Its Universe

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Every time a new Cars 3 trailer comes out, it seems that more and more unsettling questions come up. We just finished reeling from the complicated and disturbing implications of a school bus character, and now this new trailer just adds to the madness. Let’s scrutinize. Together.

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So, if you haven’t yet seen the trailer, check it out:

Okay, this first issue is a big one. Let’s take a look at some of the Lightning McQueen-branded merchandise shown here. Specifically, this:

Illustration for article titled The New iCars 3/i Trailer Raises Even More Unsettling Questions About Its Universe
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The Lightning McGrill. It’s like a George Foreman Grill in our world. We use them to cook food, which we masticate and digest (‘eat’) with our soft, moist human bodies.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THE CARS DOING WITH A GRILL?

What are they grilling? What are they doing with what they grill? Are they eating...whatever it is? Is it meat? Who’s meat? If they’re eating meat, they must have some sort of biological digestive tract, which lends credence to my Homunculus Theory.

Remember this?

Illustration for article titled The New iCars 3/i Trailer Raises Even More Unsettling Questions About Its Universe
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Because that sort of fits with the grill. And that box of ‘Kachow Mix’ next to the grill. And what seems to be kombucha:

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I thought the Cars just drank oil and gas? What the hell are they hiding from us? Does this have anything to do with the tractor-bulls/cows we see in the trailer?

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Are they slaughtering the tractor-cows and eating their tractor-beef? Is that what the grill is for? Is there muscle tissue in those things?

Oh, and then there’s these McQueen-branded items:

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These spray bottles of cleanser: WHO ARE THEY FOR? That trigger-sprayer is designed for human hands; there’s no part of a car that can operate such a device. We’ve seen how cars in the Cars series manipulate tools with their front wheels. Here’s a shot of Holly Shiftwell using a pair of tire-operated pointing devices to operate the GUI of a computer:

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Those spray bottles do not work with tires. Are there still humans, with human hands around? Are they enslaved, and that’s why a cleaning product would be designed for them? What the hell is going on?

And, perhaps most disturbingly:

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Why so many early ‘80s Chrysler K-Cars in the trailer? There’s three in barely two seconds of crowd shots — that ratio of K-Cars makes absolutely no sense.

Something’s up. Something sinister. We have to get to the bottom of this.

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus, 2020 Changli EV • Not-so-running: 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!: https://rb.gy/udnqhh)

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DISCUSSION

It’s a cartoon. Look hard enough at it and it will fall apart. Unless intentionally designed to be as such, a cartoon universe is not going to have the same level of consistency and logic our own universe does.

Does it make sense for a grill to exist in a universe where all the ‘people’ are talking cars that consume oil exclusively? I dunno. Does it make sense for gravity to not work until the moment of maximum comedic timing has been achieved? How can ACME be a large viable corporation with a variety of products when they have one customer and a 100% failure rate? How can not taking a left turn at Albuquerque take you anywhere else on planet earth randomly? How can sugar, spice, and everything nice and chemical x create 3 human children when thats not at all where children come from? How can two people not notice their son’s 3k sq ft warehouse laboratory up stairs? How can the annoying little sister keep getting in even though she never has the password and no access to the complex security systems designed to keep her out?