It’s clear Hyundai spent a lot of money and resources on this commercial. Well, on the first 2/3 of this commercial, at least. All the elements are there: massive urban disaster, pretty woman, superheroes. And then some cars show up and... run over the superheroes? Flee, like cowards? I’m not really sure what the hell’s going on here.
I guess you better watch this first so we know what we’re all talking about:
So, yeah. This is a Korean-market ad (they call the Azera the Grandeur in the home market) but it appears to be set in an American city. There’s the usual blockbuster-grade disaster happening, with explosions and crumbling buildings and smoke and chaos.
There’s a blonde woman running, wearing professional attire and completely disregarding any “NO RUNNING” signage. Shit’s getting real all around her, with explosions and fire and the whole parking deck she’s in coming down.
Desperate, she screams a plaintive “HELP ME!”
Seemingly in answer to her plea, a wall bursts (outwardly, somehow? I think?) and our old pal Batman comes running in, ready to take care of business. Then, holy crap, there’s Superman — or at least Superman from a videogame, or maybe an action figure granted life by some arcane incantation.
And finally, here comes the Flash, running, ironically, in slow motion, and joining the other two unitard enthusiasts, forming a very formidable triumvirate of superheroism.
And then they all get run over by Hyundais.
Seriously, that’s what it looks like. Three guys running, cloud of smoke and steam, then three cars blasting through exactly where they were. Sure looks like they got run over. Especially since they’re gone. No longer in the ad. That’s it for them.
Did they save that woman? It doesn’t look like it, really, since those three Hyundais came blasting through before they even got to her.
And just where the hell were those Hyundais going in such a hurry, anyway? Based on what we see next, they’re going the fuck out of destructiontown. Like, way out — that landscape is open and barren, like halfway down the 40 to the Pacific. What’s more, they’re not stopping, either — the commercial ends with them driving on as night falls, putting as much distance between them and whatever’s trashing that city.
So... what are we supposed to take away from all this? Hyundai owners are cowards who’ll mow down the city’s only hope for survival in their mad dash to get the fuck out of dodge as quickly as possible? And what was with that “YOUR CHOICE?” banner on the screen? What were we supposed to choose? A Hyundai to skip town in? A superhero to help up off the ground?
I mean, I’m sure Superman’s fine, but Batman’s just an old rich guy — he can’t really take a whole high-end Hundai in the back, right?
But maybe I’m misreading all this — maybe Hyundai wants me to think that Superman turns into a diesel Hyundai, Batman into a gasoline Hyundai, and Flash into a hybrid one. Okay, fine. Let’s say that’s what happens.
They still bug the fuck out of town, saving no one but themselves.
See? It’s actually nicer to the superheroes if we assume they were run over by three Hyundai Grandeurs.
This whole thing seems like it was just halfway thought through. It’s like they had one big, exciting meeting where they committed to licensing these big superheroes, and then they thought they better give them a grittily-collapsing city to superheroize in, and then they threw in a pretty blonde, and then they went to lunch or something. Someone will figure out the rest, right?
Right?
Contact the author at jason@jalopnik.com.