2013 was a great year for racing. We had a four-time world champion. The nicest guy in racing won the Indy 500. Some guy named Robby formed what is perhaps the best racing series of all time, and it's brand new. Oh, and a Frenchman Italian got slapped, hilariously. These are the craziest racing moments of 2013.
13. Samir, You're Breaking The Car!
"Shut up. Don't tell me how to drive."
12. A Rally Driver Entered A Bike Race, And Beat Them At Their Own Game
Being the most successful driver in WRC history is clearly not enough for Sebastien Loeb. One of the best racers ever on four wheels entered a Scorpion Masters motorcycle race, and beat more than half the field. And that field was made up of guys who are paid to race on just two wheels.
11. And Speaking Of Sebastien Loeb, The Guy Is Faster Up A Mountain Than You Will Ever Be
There is not enough money in the world to pay me to drive up a hill that big that fast.
10. Robby Gordon's Stadium Super Truck Series Debuted, And It Was Amazing
Who says that everything good has been invented already? Throw ridiculously overpowered trucks, ridiculously oversized tires, ridiculously low levels of grip, and a few jumps together, and you've got a great mix. Now put it on pavement. Oh, and one of the drivers isn't even technically old enough to drive in some states.
The Stadium Super Truck Series is my new favorite.
9. Donovan McNabb Opens Up His Mouth, Only Stupid Things Come Out
He sits in a car and he drives," McNabb said. "That doesn't make you athletic... What athletically is he doing?"
Shut up, Donovan.
8. Just Because Your Tires Aren't Slippery, Doesn't Mean Your Hands Aren't
They don't call him "Butterfingers Bourdais" for nothing. Well, actually, they don't call him that at all. But I'm going to start doing so.
7.Sebastian Vettel Won His Fourth F1 Drivers Championship
I hear the guy races okay.
6. An American Le Mans Series Race Barely Lasted Five Seconds
This is why we can't have nice things.
5. But At Least ALMS Can Get Their Race Started Before The Weirdness Ensues
In fairness, the debacle that was the WTCC qualifying at the Salzburgring made tactical, logical sense. It just was one of the weirdest parts of racing all year.
4. The Slap Heard Round The World
Max Papis went on to claim that the slap dislocated his jaw. You may mock poor Papis, but Kelly Heaphy has a prosthetic hand made out of nothing but pure cast iron. True story.
3. A NASCAR Racer Was Dragged Across The Track In A Fit Of Road Rage
On the other hand, maybe a slap is sometimes the safest way to deal with things.
2. Tony Kanaan Won The Indy 500
Tony Kanaan won the Indy 500 in an incredible race. And it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.
1. The Indy Lights Series Features The Most Incredible Finish Of The Year
When was the last time you saw racing this good, with a four-wide finish? As we said then, FOUR WIDE.
Holy crap.
Photos via Getty