The previous world record for reverse parallel parking has been shattered. Before this week, the record stood at a combined 35 centimeters between the car and the vehicles front and behind, a yawning chasm large enough to sail the entire Nimitz-class aircraft carrier fleet, ten cruise ships, and, of course, YO MOMMA… »
Everyone who told you that you never use math when you grow up was lying. I used math just the other day to figure out some awesome shit: if it makes sense for me to rent a shipping container as a garage for my crappy ass old car. »
I think it’s time to discuss an issue that has been severely plaguing our society since day one, when Benjamin Franklin landed on Plymouth Rock and declared independence from Europe. That issue is: most people are idiots. »
Based on what happened here, if Jalopnik was based in the United Arab Emirates, we’d be the only automotive website to be run from prison. That’s because a woman who took a picture of a some asshole’s car who parked across two disabled spaces and posted it on Facebook was thrown in jail for “writing bad words.” Ugh. »
Last week, the International Parking Institute announced their 2015 Seven ‘Best Places to Park’ list, and the highly controversial results are sending shockwaves through an industry that is no stranger to drama, danger, and massive volatility. We at Jalopnik would like to issue a plea for calm and reason in the… »
It’s easy to think that the field of parking lot-inspired dickshittery is stagnating. What real innovations have you seen lately? Well, I’m happy to say that impressive work is still being done, as evidenced by this remarkable triumph of awful parking and juvenile vandalism, perpetrated by a self-absorbed jackass.… »
If you’ve got a nice, fancy Mercedes-Benz SUV, you’ve got to save two parking spots for it. I mean, you just HAVE TO, obviously. And what better way to do that then to make sure you’ve always got a spare crappy beater around, primed and ready to go to take up two spots once you’ve driven off? »
One of my favorite statistics ever is that 30 percent of drivers in cities are circling the block to find parking. The traffic data nerds at Inrix thinks it’s found the solution, snagging data from a host of sources to create a heat map of where to find open spaces, and it’s coming to BMW later this year.
The internet loves photos of passive-aggressive notes left for bad parkers, and now they get a two-for-one. After a cyclist posted a note for a “bike thief,” he received a succinct response from someone else with a Sharpie. Extra kudos for use of the word “bozo.” »
You can find inconsiderate chodes in every corner of the world, but a Russian non-profit wanted to do something about a particular breed: people that park in disabled spaces. And they did it with freaking holograms.
Today’s column will provide a voice for the voiceless; an outlet for those poor souls among us who spend every day on the streets, only to be berated and abused by the wealthy upper crust. Yes, that’s right: I am referring to meter maids. »
No, not that sort of siren, you uneducated cretin. The sirens were mysterious creatures that plagued the Ancient Greece of Odysseus, singing beautiful songs that lured sailors to their deaths. People thought they were myths, but they weren’t. They still exist. Except instead of plaguing the seas, they plague parking… »
Congresswoman Eleanor Holmes Norton is a fiesty firebrand, and a largely respected non-voting delegate for her constituents in Washington, DC. She also doesn’t appear to understand the concept of angled parking, hitting another car in the process, and it makes you sad for the 77-year old more than anything else. »
I recently had an epiphany. Not a small epiphany, either, like the kind you get when you think there's no food in the house, and you're about to start eating notebook paper, and then you discover a lone bag of popcorn in the back of your pantry. I mean a real epiphany, like when you realize there's an eye in the… »
iOS/Android/Web: When you need to find parking quickly and you're willing to pay for it, the Best Parking app can help. Best Parking offers parking info for over 100 cities nationwide. »
I'll be honest with you, readers, because you're the only ones I really trust: I love a good fiasco. I mean, if something's going to go wrong, I love a nice avalanche of wrong to really settle things. And it should end with a parade, or maybe a dead horse. This video of a guy trying to park a Fiat 500 comes shockingly… »