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This rendering of a stretched, raised, and deformed Jaguar XJ limo leaked from the Chinese patent office recently. Could Jaguar really build something so ungainly for the royal family?

Jaguar is known as the epitome of British sporting elegance. What it isn't known for is being the epitome of all-weather performance. If you wanted to be Brittanically elegant in the wintertime, you needed a Land Rover.

The 30 Rock stars aren't as insane as their characters, but man, it looks like sitting in the back seat of a Jaaaaaag really gets people going.

Jaguar announced today that the 2013 XF and XJ will get all-wheel-drive, but only with the 340 horsepower, 3.0-liter supercharged V6.

An M80 assault rifle fires 7.62mm armor-piercing rounds at 2690 fps. If that worries you, but society calls, the Jaguar XJ Sentinel offers a perfect solution. High-strength steel, Kevlar, and armor-plating up to B7 protection level. Return fire, James!

Say it with me now: Touring cars. Should. Be Based. On real street cars. And have big snorty exhausts poking out from under their rockers. (Jaguar XJ touring car at last weekend's Goodwood Festival of Speed.) Photo Credit: RacinginAmerica/Flickr

Want to win a bag of swag donated by the fab folks at Jaguar? We'll randomly select a winner from the commenters on the "Jag swag bag" thread on our official Jalopnik Facebook fan page. Details below.

This is the 2011 Jaguar XJ. It looks nothing like the XJ that came before it, or the XJ that came before that. Its interior is a temple to the word "shiny." Is this what Jaguar needs to move forward?

At a Jaguar event last night, the big news was a peak at the video Jay-Z is shooting with one of only six 2010 Jaguar XJ's in the world. And he customized it! Yay! Exclusive sneak peak video below.