Worlds Are Colliding With This Nissan Office Van And I Can't Take It

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Image: Nissan

I’m loving what I’m seeing out of the Tokyo Auto Salon this year. Adorable Copen speedsters and overlanding Honda Fits are bringing exactly the levity the world needs after the year we’ve had (and, at this rate, the one we’re about to). Now Nissan is joining the fun — or, rather, forgetting it — in the case of its NV350 Caravan Office Pod.

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This very-modified NV350 Caravan has been gutted to house a desk and office. The whole office portion can slide out the back, so you can take in some UV rays as you’re plugging away at those TPS reports. There’s also a deck up top, perfect for enjoying a break on the lounge chair under that umbrella, maybe reading a book and, ideally, imagining the whole office thing downstairs doesn’t exist.

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Image: Nissan

As for the exterior, there appears to be some kind of wavy, scalloped texture to the sides, though that might just be a wrap playing tricks on my eyes.

I don’t like this van. Sure, I can appreciate the seemingly pure intentions behind it: Many of us are working from home, and being stuck within the same four walls can be a little suffocating after, say, 10 months. That hallowed line between work and the rest of your life has been erased, so why not make the best of it? Why not clock in under a bunch of redwoods? Get that heavenly air in your lungs — that’ll put a spring in your step!

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Image: Nissan

I don’t know, I’m not seeing it. There’s something disturbing about Herman Miller office chairs in nature. It kind of sullies a sacred place, a place that’s supposed to be about tranquility, the beauty of life and getting in touch with yourself, whatever that means. I don’t know what it means, but I’ll tell you one thing — there’s no way I’m finding out hearing Slack make that stupid popping noise among the bird caws every six minutes. Zoom meetings should never happen here, it’s perverse. There’s an industrial carafe on the table back there — there’s only one, and this is my van, but I bet it’s filled with decaf. Decaf is all that’s ever left.

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Setting aside that this van is an assault on my last place of refuge, it’s not Nissan’s only Salon showpiece. There’s also the Note Play Gear — a black-and-rose gold Note (the kind they don’t sell in the U.S. anymore) with a roof box — as well as Autech-customized versions of the Note, Kicks and Elgrand and a freshened-up Leaf Nismo. They look fine. They don’t scare me.

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Nissan Note Play Gear
Image: Nissan
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Nissan Kicks Autech
Image: Nissan
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Nissan Note Autech
Image: Nissan
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Nissan Elgrand Autech
Nissan Elgrand Autech
Image: Nissan
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Nissan Leaf Nismo
Image: Nissan

Staff Writer at Jalopnik. 2017 Fiesta ST. Wishes NASCAR was more like Daytona USA.

DISCUSSION

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Mehphisto

I don’t see the benefit of it sliding out. The vacated space seems to be too small to become functional for something else. I think a more practical solution would be windows on the sides that open up and out to form awnings, maybe with sides that slide out to make the working area feel less confined.

The exterior looks like an IKEA cabinet door.