A man in Wales was arrested after police say he stripped naked and "simulated sex" with a Land Rover Discovery, a restaurant counter, and the floor. I wonder which of those was most satisfying.
The UK's Telegraph has the hilarious-but-unfortunate tale of 24-year-old Daniel Cooper, whom police say went a little too far during a night of binge drinking with his mates, which caused him to get naked and start humping things. Those things included the counter at a kebab shop, the floor at the shop, and a Land Rover parked outside.
Cooper, who changed his name to "Daniel Hotcock Cooper" on Facebook, claims he didn't remember any of the incident because he was not used to drinking. He paid a fine and is barred from going out at night for the next three months.
But the best part was his friends' reaction:
His sex act with the counter of the kebab shop was filmed by some of Cooper's friends but was later deleted.
One of his pals said: "Daniel will never live this down – everyone is saying he was 'tyred' and 'exhausted' afterwards.
"He is not a pretty sight when naked. We all felt sorry for the Land Rover and hope it wasn't offended."
This is what happens in countries that don't share our American values, like shame.
Photo credit Shutterstock/KlausNahr
Hat tip to Ed Niedermeyer!