What The Hell Happened, Hartge BMW X3

There are lots of things that I forget, like the firing order of the classic Lamborghini V12, or why I still have an orange polyester shirt with little frogs on it. Also forgotten: the Hartge BMW X3.


“Forgotten” might be the wrong word for it. I’d probably be better off using the word “repressed” or “stifled” when it comes to the E83-generation BMW X3.

I remember when it was new. It looked so cool and new! There was a Shockwave game where you could drive it around. I played that game. I didn’t have a lot of options back then. My pirated copy of Need For Speed: Porsche Unleashed was buggy.

I am happy not remembering these feelings as often as possible.


As such, I’m not surprised that I completely forgot about the Hartge version of this proto-crossover.

Hartge did make a dedicated off road version called the Hartge Hunter that looked relatively normal and worked, but this on-road version seems to only exist to haunt my nightmares.


You could get your Hartge X3 with some engine upgrades, as well as suspension upgrades, the body kit, some interior trim, and those giant 21-inch wheels, as is still posted on Hartge’s website. Why, I do not know.


Look at its face. Look at its face! Why did I look this up.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

About the author

Raphael Orlove

Raphael Orlove is features editor for Jalopnik.