What’s The Worst Hot Hatch Of All Time?

Small isn’t always mighty, so what is the worst hot hatchback out there?

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A photo of an MG Metro Turbo.
Just because it says “turbo” on the side, doesn’t mean it’s good.
Photo: MG

Did you hear? Toyota has a new car coming out and it’s got all the Jalopnik staff very excited. So excited that we took to Twitch last night to share our excitement on its release. That car is the new GR Corolla and it’s great because it’s a legit hot hatch that will actually be sold in America.

Hot hatchbacks are great, they’re pretty cute to look at, are very fun to drive, aren’t super expensive and usually come with a raft of styling tweaks to make you stand out from the crowd. What more could you want?

But, it has come to our attention that not all hot hatches were created equal, and some were even just ripoffs of those that came before. So, with this in mind, we want to sort the wheat from the chaff when it comes to hot hatchbacks.

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Namely, what is the worst hot hatch of all time?

For every Civic Type R or Focus ST, there are abominations like the Peugeot 307 GT or the woefully dull Mercedes-Benz A200 Turbo. Then, there are the generational “improvements” that took a classic and bodged it beyond recognition, Volkswagen Golf GTI MK4 anyone?

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And these are just the recent(ish) examples I can think of. We’ve got all of automotive history to peruse in search of the petulant pocket rockets to poke fun at.

With that in mind, let me draw your attention to the MG Metro Turbo. If ever there was a car that needed the hot hatch treatment, it wasn’t the Metro. Badly built and uncomfortable, the last thing it needed was a power boost.

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But that’s exactly what MG did, creating a lukewarm hatch that did 0 to 60 in 9.9 seconds. Sold between 1983 and 1989, the Metro Turbo had a four cylinder petrol engine that could power it on to a top speed of 112mph.

Is there anything else as bad as this?

So, take to the comments section and let us know your picks for the worst hot hatchbacks of all time. We’ll leave this post up over the weekend and pull together some of the best suggestions in a slideshow on Monday.