What Feature Will You Suggest For The 2022 Hummer EV Edition 1?

The Hummer EV includes a suggestion box for future ideas. Let's give 'em what we got.

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The 2022 GMC Hummer EV Edition 1 is a masterclass in “how ridiculous of a vehicle can we make,” and if its various and sundry absurd features aren’t enough for you, you’re encouraged to make your own suggestions about what you’d like a future Hummer EV to have. In fact, there’s a suggestion box built right into the gear selector.

This particular feature popped up in Doug DeMuro’s recent review of a Hummer EV Edition 1 prototype, and I have been fully unable to stop thinking about it. What would I suggest? What would you, the fine readers of Jalopnik, suggest?

The Hummer EV already has a lot of features packed into it. The Edition 1 has a three-motor configuration that nets a frankly ridiculous 1,000 horsepower and a quoted 11,500 lb-ft of torque, which our Bradley Brownell aptly described as perfect for towing the entire moon.

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Other features include Crab Walk, which allows for diagonal movement around and over obstacles if you find yourself in a jam while off-roading (which is quite possible, given the obscene size of this vehicle), and Watts to Freedom, which is basically a kind of launch control that gets you from 0 to 60 in three seconds flat. There’s also adaptive air suspension that can lift to give you a little extra ground clearance in a pinch.

And then there’s the suggestion box. On DeMuro’s prototype, it doesn’t do anything, but in the future, it will allow buyers to tell Hummer just what it wants out of its EV. Whether those suggestions are added over-the-air or on future vehicles remains to be seen and likely depends on the nature of the upgrade in question.

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But I want to know what features you would suggest. What wild and wacky concepts would you request? What feats do you wish you could accomplish behind the wheel of the Hummer EV Edition 1?

Personally, I’d love a self-destruct button. Some lapse of judgement has to take place to get you behind the wheel of a Hummer that weighs approximately 15 billion pounds, and once you realize the error of your ways, you’re going to want to find the quickest way to end your misery. Opening a black hole in the universe and sucking yourself into it would be a great way to go. Maybe Hummer can add that feature next time around.

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But I’m passing the baton to you all. What feature are you adding?