Who is the internet's next big star? It's something we all want to know, isn't it? Maybe not, but Kia Motors decided it could reach more of the hipster market segment by using the urban kitsch/Nissan Cube knockoff Kia Soul to frame a next big internet star contest.
Already a star in her own right after her creepy lip sync of a Justin Bieber song ended up on reddit and her psycho stare became a meme, the Overly Attached Girlfriend figured she was a shoe-in. Unfortunately, the Texas-based internet soliloquist entered a video featuring old footage of herself rapping about a Kia, followed by new footage of her driving a friend's Kia Soul.
We can only imagine that the judges were unimpressed with her claimed Soul obsession, and will (hopefully) crown someone else king/queen of the internet. Unfortunately, judges face a significant stalking/kidnapping risk by not choosing the Overly Attached Girlfriend.
But wait a tick. What if Nissan also picks someone as the internet's next big star? Does that mean that Kia's next big internet star will have turf wars with the other marque's big internet star? The two big stars would then have to duke it out in a bare knuckle boxing match, with Ford refereeing the fight and giving a massive championship belt to the winner. (Honda would be in the back row of the bleachers, sleeping with a newspaper over its face.)
Heavyweight champion of the internet. That would be something.
Anyway, if you think you have enough soul to win a Soul, you can probably do better than the Overly Attached Girlfriend, who is probably lurking in the bushes outside my house right now because I wrote this.
Photo credit: YouTube