When car shopping online, it’s easy to get yourself caught in a niche. As Facebook Marketplace’s algorithm starts to learn what you want, it’ll feed you more and more of the same thing — leaving you with a page entirely made up of listings for 2005 Acura RSXes.
So today, we’re broadening our automotive horizons and going global. American trucks and Italian bikes, Bavarian track cars and Japanese jet skis. Set your stereo accordingly, and let’s dive in.
Retro bikes are so hot right now, but Ducati saw the trend coming from a mile away. The SportClassic launched sixteen years ago, meaning the product line is now old enough to get its own M endorsement. They’ve got the retro looks, the sportbike ergonomics, and the classic Ducati logo to tie the room together. It’s just too bad they don’t have old-bike prices too.
E30s are fun cars, incredibly lightweight and flickable compared to modern sport-luxury offerings. But this particular E30 has foregone that luxury entirely, swapping comfort for Kirkeys and door cards for intrusion bars. The seller claims it’s built to Spec E30, well, spec, and that it hasn’t been raced since it was put together. I, for one, cannot imagine modifying a race car and selling it without using it. Nope, not at all.
I’m a sucker for the Land Cruiser, though my proclivity is generally for the later 100 Series. This one, however, may start to change my mind. Big knobby tires, a winch on a chopped front bumper, and a wheel in a roof rack are pretty much all it takes to get me excited — no matter the Cruiser generation.
See, this is why writing Dopest Cars is dangerous. This is under $1400, and it’s in one of the greatest color combinations to ever grace this pale blue dot. I want it. I could buy it. I should buy it.
Not only is this Corona immaculate, the seller claims it’s almost entirely original — only the front seats have been replaced. The wheels, too, are some classic JDM goodness you just don’t see any more. I guess four-spokes worked better with only four lugs.
Look, hear me out. The photos on this Juke Nismo are admittedly not great. The wheels are a travesty, bordering on a war crime. But I’ve driven the base Juke, and it was surprisingly nimble — the Nismo version could actually be a blast behind the wheel. I know, everyone hated them when they came out, but look around you. Tons of crossovers have the headlights down below the turn signals and DRLs now. The Juke won.
This Grand Caravan is named Murple. Murple reminds me of Twinkie’s VW Touran from Tokyo Drift, and she even has a full kitchen in the back. Murple is now my best friend, and I will kill or die for her.
Back in elementary school, I used to go to a store called FunCoLand for video games. It was bought out by EB Games, which was bought out by GameStop, which led to there being two GameStops in my local mall and one across the street. I imagine this Funco SS 2 is from an alternate timeline, where instead of being purchased, FunCoLand pivoted hard into making extremely rad off-road machines. I like that timeline.
I’m begging Marketplace sellers to stop using vertical photos in their ads, but even the odd cinematography here can’t hide how cool this F100 is. Click through the ad until you get the shot under the hood, with a huge intake sticking out above the Chevy 350 engine. That sight alone is worth looking at the tall, narrow pictures.
Now, I’m not saying that writing Dopest Cars every week begins to slowly yet inexorably instill a desire for school bus ownership deep into your soul. All I’m saying is, school busses are looking pretty good to me right now. If I had somewhere to park one, I might start considering some highly unjustifiable financial decisions.
When you’re slinging parts for Harry, you can’t be riding around in any old truck. You need something worthy of the tuner lifestyle you now live, something identifiably Cool to those in the know. You need the second-best truck of the late 1990s: A Ford SVT Lightning. In red.
Who doesn’t love a Falken livery? Sure, you may not actually be sponsored, but I also don’t know that you aren’t — and neither will anyone else on the road. Plus, if you’re going to do your drift-prepped Skyline up in teal and blue anyway (which I highly recommend), you may as well go all out.
I have come to terms with the fact that I am simply too tall for a Honda Beat. I will not be able to take one out on track and will likely never sit comfortably between its driver’s door and center console. This is a shame I will carry for the rest of my life.
I get it, you don’t want an early Supra, you want the one from the movie. Well, I’m here to tell you that you can’t afford that one, and neither can I, and neither can anyone who would actually drive it. But, there’s a silver lining: We can still get the one that had a turbo and pop-up headlights. Who’s the real winner here?
This Viper claims to make 604 horsepower at the rear wheels, and also claims to be the most powerful Viper under some oddly specific number of criteria. Under the same reasoning, I will officially state that I once owned the most powerful stock-turbo 2005 Subaru Legacy GT manual wagon with the dark blue exterior and tan interior and Defi factory gauge option on the East Coast. Probably.