The Mercedes-Benz S600 Guard is a V12 powerhouse armored to VR9 spec, meaning they can shoot at it, blow it up or throw nasty gas canisters around it all day long and you'll be fine inside, with a glass of champagne at hand.

I love how a certain part of the press release is about how discreet the S600 Guard is on the move, looking almost identical to the standard S600. Right! That's very practical indeed, making sure the guy with the RPG doesn't know which black Merc to shoot at, but as far as I can tell, the people who buy these aren't necessarily European diplomats and a black S600 will stand out in a third world country anyway. Also, if you travel in a convoy of three, they'll most likely shoot at all of them.

Go further by putting golden wheels on it, and Mercedes' effort to hide you gets thrown out of the window. The car will still work though.

The latest armored S600 comes with plates covering almost the entire underbody and extra tough steel integrated into the cavities between the body structure and the outer skin at the bodyshell stage, with Aramide and PE components providing additional splinter protection. And I wasn't kidding about having a drink either:

While enjoying a glass of the good stuff, you can also relax knowing that the windscreen and side windows are heated (hello Russia!) and coated with polycarbonate on the inside to be just as tough as the metal parts. The car also uses hydraulic power to move the heavy windows, while in the trunk there's a fire extinguisher system with automatic activation and an emergency fresh air system plugged into their own power sources.

The rest is pretty standard S600 stuff with a V12 producing 530 horsepower and 612 foot pound of torque, an air suspension and a top speed limited to 130 mph for weight reasons. Mercedes claims this much power means you don't need to worry about the danger zone:

"The S-Guard combines lower fuel consumption with impressive acceleration for a rapid escape from the danger zone when under threat."

Excellent news indeed.

I want one in pussy magnet yellow.