This Is What Your '70s Van Murals Would Look Like

Some of us like to live life just a little bit more bitchin' than your average mortal, and that life philosophy extends to our vehicles. The humble van is uniquely situated to display your soul to the world while still hauling kids, band equipment, work supplies or what-have-you. A custom paint job is all that stands between you embracing both your artistry and practicality at the same time.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about how I'd deck out my own '70s time machine, and it's clear from the comments so have some of you. Some want to honor bands or TV shows, some of you want to recreate actual art or cause minor car crashes with optical illusions. They are all precious and special and deserving of their own slides, but here's some of the best of the best ideas for van mural legacy I could find in the comments.

I wonder how many current readers know who that's referencing.

Suggested by SerialThriller, Dead Elvis, Inc.

Kreiger's van from Archer of course

Suggested by thisismyid2, Jose Galt Jr. and others

I'm definitely going full nautical with mine – we're talking complete with a Kraken attacking a 17th century Galleon, lightning, maybe Poseidon rising from the waves. Give it that serious "Here be monsters" vibe.

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Goes well with the whole surf van / beach bum look I'd be cultivating.

You can just crank up some Alestorm at all times while driving.

Suggested by TheWalrus, BunkyTheMelon and others

Some of the better pinball machine art would do.

Suggested by BrianMadigan, Muqaddimah (call me Muck)

Because I love the Simpsons and it seems they've been on since the 1970's.

Suggested by David E. Davis

No mural. Neon green metal flake body, chrome-reverse wheels, smoked tear-drop windows in the upper rear quarters, slight rake, rear flares for wider tires, lake pipes, smoked rear windows.

I've put thought into this.

Suggested by JohnnyWasASchoolBoy

Already done :)

Suggested by i86hotdogs, Half Man Half Bear Half Pig

I'm putting a 70s-80s sportscar profile with wheels on the van that look racecar-ish so it looks like a racer going down the street. Maybe the UOP Shadow.

Suggested by Jerry Wiegert's Hair Helmet – Deceased

One does not simply walk into Mordor. One drives there in a van with wizards and dragons airbrushed onto it.

These days I suppose you could cheat by making the design on a computer and doing a wrap.

I believe rule one is a wizard must be involved.

Beyond that, clouds, major boobage and something?

So basically a scene from Heavy Metal?

Suggested by Ad_absurdum_per_aspera, STIKleinWagon and others

I'm going with large friendly flowers, big over done daisies and sunflowers on a pale blue background... but, I'm also gonna stick a bunch of odd antenna on the back bumpers, bumpers, front and back, which will be over sized plastic and waaaay too tough looking for a hippiemobile. Also, the rear windows are gonna be smoked out. A couple of extra spotlights on the upper front, and, also painted in daisy and powder sky blue, a riot grill that can swing down over the windshield. I'm gonna have mine be the van everyone starts MiB (technically, WiB, but you know nerds) conspiracy theories about. A real Flowers By Irene, or Noelle's Sunflower Association, looking van.

Suggested by skeffles

I'd want some kind of trompe l'oeil effect that makes the whole van look like something else, like a Star Trek TOS shuttlecraft or a runaway covered wagon.

Suggested by Mehphisto

All you losers only thinking in two dimensions.

This is what you do:

1. Buy a kit of Adam West's batmobile.

2. Attach the front to one side of the van.

3. Attach the rear to the other side of the van.

4. Make sure they are aligned so that the whole vehicle appears to be stuck in the van.

Suggested by beege22

Frazetta or nuthin'!

Suggested by Unacceptably Dry Scones, rlfletch

The Garden of Earthly Delights by Hieronymous Bosch

Suggested by Slow Joe Crow

Definitely something 8-bit inspired, like Mario throwing fire balls or Bullet bill with a doober in his mouth.

Suggested by heavysquad