I asked earlier this week what were your worst experiences as a passenger. There was no way that could have prepared for what I sifted through. Commenters submitted stories that featured drunk driving, blatant traffic violations and straight-up dangerous driving. I’m glad that everyone survived to share their stories, including the one that took place in an active war zone. Without further ado, here are the worst stories from when we weren’t at the controls:
Riding in the back of an airport town car with my wife and 5yo returning home from a Euro trip. Guy was rude upon pick up, smelled and unkempt. Gave me crap about belting my daughter into her car seat. The drive home is 20-25 min and mostly a localish road 3 lanes each way with lots of traffic lights. Its dark and rainy. Wife and I uncomfortable with his driving but really lose it when he not paying attention, hits a low center median and immediately blows out both tires on the drivers side. We pull over and now have to wait for a replacement car to come. No apologies, no are you alrights, nothing. We get into the replacement car and get home with no issues. We’d used these guys before and had had great rides. I called the company and launched into a tirade. They apologized and said he’d “been under stress” lately. Never used them again.
Submitted by: Monsterajr
When I was a freshman in high school, I got a ride home from an upperclassman who was sort of a friend. He was a good dude who I knew for a while because we had older siblings that were tight. However, about 10 seconds into the 5-minute drive to my house, I noticed an alarming trend:
This guy doesn’t stop at 4-way stop signs.
Not joking. He just blew through every 4-way stop with *zero* hesitation. Quite poetically, the last intersection before my parents’ house was a 2-way, and he was going to blow through that too until I yelled “HOLY SHIT” at the car that was going to t-bone us. He stopped in time, waited for the car to pass, and just sheepishly said, “... I thought he had to stop.”
I practically jumped out of the car once he took me the final 200 feet home. I know we all do stupid shit when we are young, but Jesus.
Submitted by: Mosko
It was one of those things that sounds so dumb, you can’t believe it but it’s true....
I did an enlistment in the Army and ended up in Germany. Every year there used to be REFORGER—redeployment of forces to Germany—put on a show for the Commies that America and its NATO allies mean business. One of our gas tanker trucks was heading back to our battalion’s Kaserne, our base, so I hitched a ride. We were on the Autobahn making good time when the truck started bucking and wheezing. Then the engine died as the driver guided the tanker onto the shoulder of the Autobahn and braked it. “We’re out of gas,” he announced.
In a gas tanker and we’re stranded with no gas...are you effing kidding me?!?!? No, he wasn’t. Which in turn met with hilarity when the Polizei showed up and they spoke as much English as we did German—we eventually sponged some gas from another Army truck and limped home. Still can’t believe the irony of what happened.
Submitted by: the1969DodgeChargerFan
My grandma learned to drive back when there were only about three cars in the county, and decades later still drove like that was the case. Plus she was known to forget her glasses at church, and then decide it wasn’t worth going back to get them because she’d be there next Sunday and would get them then. Driving with her at the wheel was always an exercise in terror when I was a kid. I miss you grandma, I’d give anything to have even one more terror filled “well they oughta get out of my way” car ride with her. She’s been in the ground twenty years now, but I still remember her well.
Submitted by: skeffles
That time we were getting shot at in a Chinook while slingloading an uparmored HUMMVEE in Afghanistan.
Did not realize a Chinook could do a 45-degree bank that heavily loaded.
Submitted by: Bob
I once hitched a ride from my hometown to college from a “friend of a friend” that I didn’t know very well. They were fine at driving and their car was nice. Their taste in music, however, was questionable. Being subjected to listening to Yanni for five hours straight is no pain I would wish on my worst of enemies.
I’ve been in serious car accidents before and broken many a bone, but this is the first automotive disaster that crushed my soul and damaged my sanity.
Submitted by: paradsecar
Many moons ago - young sailor stationed at school in Great Lakes (Waukegan, IL)...
Roommate had an old POS Toyota, can’t even remember what model it was. We were zipping down Sheridan Rd, heading back to the base after having too much to drink (I swear like a dunken sailor because I was one...).
He decides that 40MPH on snow is a great time to downshift and punch it (for what that’s worth) - next thing I know we are heading straight towards the curb, with a hydrant and utility pole directly in our path. Through some sort of miracle, we hit the curb enough to go marginally vertical - cleared the hydrant, hit the pole with the right front corner, pivoted and landed with the hydrant right next to my door.... Came way too close to a fire hydrant suppository.
Of course, our dumb asses backed up, kicked the passenger fender until the remaining bolt let go, and continued the drive to the base - didn’t get stopped until we actually got through the gate.
Base police sent me on my merry way while they discussed the situation with the roommate - didn’t see him again for a day and a half, and he ended up discharged not too much later...
Submitted by: Jim Rarey
Can worst also be my best?
I did a really stupid thing while working with a customer in Cleveland: Take a morning flight for an afternoon meeting and plan to fly out around dinner to return home. The meeting went long. Really long. When we finished, I had 30 minutes to get to the airport to catch my plane. Google reported a 30 minute drive. I was already checked in. Just had to get there. So I did what they do in the movies! I hailed a cab. I told the guy “I’ve got 20 minutes to get to the airport - if you can get me there, I’ll make it worth your while.”
What followed was 20 minutes of insanity.
It was rush hour. The cab was an old Chrysler minivan. Old enough that it had fake wood paneling, and I only had a functional lap belt. We were easily the fastest vehicle on the road. There was swerving. There was overtaking in a merging on ramp. There were turns on red lights. For all I know, that’s how he always drove. But it certainly seems like we were seconds from death about 3 times on that trip.
And he got me to the airport on time. I gave him all my USD cash (which was probably a $20 tip) and ran to the gate - I was on time!
The plane left early.
Submitted by: dolsh
For me it’s a tie. My mother is absolutely terrifying behind the wheel, but in a “she just doesn’t pay enough attention and has no depth perception” sort of lady-of-a-certain-age way. She’s not an aggressive driver at all. but she’s a space cadet on a good day. I have to be utterly exhausted to ride with her.
My Hungarian best friend is just *Hungarian*. They all drive like Italians but without the innate driving talent. Super aggressive, super distracted, always fucking with his phone or the stereo. And fond of cars that are much faster than he has ability. AND he has a tendency to drive at least buzzed, if not actually over the line to drunk when he goes out. Got pulled over on the way to my house after being out on the town with my housemate one night. He likes to go to the local tittie bar - definitely not my idea of a good time, but roomie will go if he pays. Failed the field test, but no breathalyzer on the cop. Got cuffed and stuffed, but blew a .079 at the station... I got the whole thing live-texted from roomie, then had to go pick him up from the side of the road - he WAS drunk. Dumbass shows up an hour or so later in a cab. They didn’t prosecute, but it cost him plenty to get his car back from impound. So I simply refuse to ride shotgun with him anymore. If we go anywhere together, no matter whose car or which country, *I* am doing the driving.
As for one-offs, in Portland, ME the Somali mafia owns the Airport Cab concession. One day I land in a snowstorm and get some guy who a week before was in the old country driving a camel. This is literally the first time he has ever SEEN snow, and he is driving a clapped out recycled cop car Crown Brick in it. That was an interesting ride, to say the least. Lots of sideways involved, but he did get me home. Some interesting rides in NYC cabs, but those guys know what they are doing when they try to see how much air a Crown Brick can get on the way to LGA.
Submitted by: krhodes1
It was on a work trip with my boss in northern Saskatchewan in the dead of winter, meeting with clients in Prince Albert. We drove up from Saskatoon in the morning in a rental car for the initial meet & greet. Did I mention that she was a control freak and a terrible driver? She insisted on driving, and even on a clear, sunny morning with perfect roads it was a white-knuckle journey for me. She was flying out of Saskatoon that evening, so we had to get her back south for her flight and then I was staying behind to carry out the project. It was already dark by late afternoon at that latitude, and it was snowing and blowing like crazy, as we headed out for what in good weather is a 1.5 hour drive. Did I mention that she was a control freak? Did I also mention that she was a terrible driver?
I won’t bore everyone with all the details, but it was the most terrifying time I have ever spent in a car, and I have been in a hell of a lot of hairy automotive situations in my life. The most dangerous part was how she would tailgate - and even try to pass - semis on a single highway in a fucking blizzard. I reminded her several times to slow down and maintain an interval with the vehicle ahead, and she would back off briefly, but then in a minute or so we’d be right back in the rocking chair of death behind a semi. If any of those semi drivers even had the word “brakes” pass through his mind, we would have been underneath him.
I’ll cut to the chase - it got to the point that I told her I was not going to allow her to kill me, and if she didn’t listen to me immediately, I would be resigning the instant we got out of the car - if we lived that long. She thought I was joking, so I had to make it clear that I was absolutely, deadly fucking serious. She did one of those “ha-ha, oooh, why so serious?” things that people like her do, but she slowed down and drove carefully the rest of the way. I told her that a new condition of my employment from then on was that if we ever had to share a car again, I was driving.
Submitted by: Muqaddimah (call me Muck)
My worst passenger experience was well before cell phones were a thing. I lived in NW Oklahoma. I became acquainted with the guy on whose land the city’s water wells were drilled. His nickname in the town was Crazy Charlie.
He invited me to his house one day. While there he asked me if I’d like to see the ranch. We piled into his old full size Bronco and off we went. He pointed out the various hunting blinds, then said something along the lines of “Where else can you do this?” He then reached over the seat, grabbed a machine gun and started shooting out the drivers’ window with shell casings coming back into the passenger footwell.
Needless to say, I never went back to his ranch.
Next submission, please.
Submitted by: mosin1965
We were young and dumb: Quite a while ago, early 20's, go round a friends house who’s mum had just bought a new golf GTI and she had just gone on holiday. We decided to go out it in. On a small (straight) country road he puts a wheel on the grass doing about 120mph, instant massive spin. We hit a line of trees and spun off into an orchard, luckly with relatively young trees in. Huge crash, engine was ripped out the car and landed 50m away. All the wheels gone. His head went through the side window and was so concussed couldn’t remember anything that happened for about 45 mins. We did what any responsible kids would do, ran away. Returned to the scene about an hour later, Police, ambulance, fire the lot. Had to sheepishly say the car was ours. Driver tried to say to the police that we were doing ‘about’ fifty and a rabbit ran out and startled us. Police replied ‘no way, I think what happened was....’ proceeded to tell us his very accurate deductions from the 150m of carnage down the road. We were so lucky, concussion, airbag burns and seatbelt bruising was all our injuries. Prob didn’t really slow us down, but made us much more risk adverse in our driving.
Submitted by: damonbill