These Are The Unbreakable Rules Of Getting In A Car Crash

This sounds glib, but it’s important to remember — the safest accident is the one you’re never in. Whether it’s additional driver training, or just making sure your car is in good shape, there are ways to mitigate the risk of a traffic collision. When was the last time you checked the condition of your tires? Are your brake hoses still in good shape? Are you driving faster than the conditions — rain, blind corners, fog — can support?

Once a crash has actually happened, your first job is to get your bearings and check on anyone else involved — this includes the occupants of any other cars involved, too. Make sure no one’s bleeding or unconscious, all bones are intact and in the right place, and everyone is capable of getting home under their own power. You won’t be able to determine every medical issue on the side of the road — more on that later — but check whether you need to be calling an ambulance immediately.

Not just your car, and the car that hit you, but your surroundings. Take photos of the intersection, of the signage, whether visibility is impaired by overgrown trees. You may not need every shot, but remember that things can change as soon as you leave — better to have evidence and not need it than the other way around. Of course, you can only really get shots of the involved vehicles in situ if you’re in a largely untrafficked area. If it’s crowded, skip the photos of your car exactly as it was hit, and skip to...

Hey, buddy, you’re blocking traffic! It sounds cruel to just say “Listen, I know you just suffered a shocking and possibly life-altering trauma, but could you just do that somewhere that’s more out of the way?” but it’s a practical concern. Cars in the road disrupt the flow of traffic, which correlates with higher accident rates — by moving out of the way, you may be sparing someone else your same fate.

Now that the preliminary stuff is out of the way, it’s time to bust out that insurance paperwork. Get the information of the person that hit you, give them your details, and see if you can get a contact number. They were at fault of course, since Jalops are perfect drivers who’d never hit another motorist, and you’ll need their information to get a claim started. Some insurers even recommend getting the other person’s driver’s license number, and many say you should get contact information for eyewitnesses if at all possible.

Now that you’re in the paperwork phase of the accident, you might need a police report to work from. Not every accident or insurance claim requires this, and it’ll depend on your insurer, your state, and the accident itself, but a report can be helpful to move the process along more quickly. Weigh the risks and benefits yourself, consider whether involving cops is a good idea in your specific situation, and work from there.

Especially if cops are involved, there are some phrases to avoid in the immediate aftermath of an accident. Most people know to never say you’re sorry, that a crash was “on me” or “my bad,” or to offer to “make things right” yourself, but there’s another topic to avoid: Your own physical state. Injuries like concussions and whiplash can take a while to make themselves known, especially when you’re running on post-crash adrenaline, but police will take any admission of “I’m OK” or “I’m not hurt” said in the moment as gospel. If you do turn out to be injured, you don’t want to be on the record saying everything is fine.

In that vein, go get yourself checked out at a doctor or urgent care center. Best case scenario, you’re out a copay with no injuries and you can be sure that everything is okay. Worst case, a doctor will notice something that you didn’t — but that’s will leagues better than it going entirely unnoticed, and accordingly untreated. I’ve been in a minor accident that still left me bruised for days just from the seatbelt, made my eyes water from the airbag deployment, and left me mildly concussed to start off a new college semester. Check with your doctor.

Did you know that, in many jurisdictions, you’re required to report motor vehicle accidents to the DMV? New York even threatens drivers with license suspension for not filing the proper paperwork. Check the rules in your own state, see what the reporting requirements are for you, and do whatever the DMV requires. Losing your license is a hassle you don’t need right now.

You were just in a car accident! Thousands of pounds of steel, rubber, and glass just smashed into your vehicle, and now you have to go through arcane dances with insurance companies just to be made whole again. You’ve got a textbook acute trauma, the additional stressor of corporate bureaucracy, not to mention the issues that’ll come up from not having reliable transportation while your car is fixed or replaced. Tell your therapist about all this. You were already in therapy, right? Right?